In
last week’s newsletter we
talked about the challenges our relationships with other people
often present. And about how can we make those relationships more
loving. But we did not talk directly about the most important
relationship of all.
John Cali
What do you think is your most important relationship? I could
ask that question to ten different people and get ten different
answers. But I’d be willing to bet none of them would be the
"right" answer.
Here’s Chief Joseph.
Chief Joseph
You have probably often heard it
said:
- Think only of others
- Love others unconditionally
- Put others before yourself
- Be of service to others
- Etc., etc.
Those are noble-sounding sentiments. But they will guarantee you
a life of misery and joylessness.
We always teach you cannot serve another unless you first serve
yourself, you cannot love another if you do not first love yourself.
If you do much commercial flying, you probably know one version
of this routine: Your airline companies always tell you if cabin
pressure fails and you need an oxygen mask, always attend to your
need first before helping your children or others who may depend on
you.
So what is "unconditional love," this term so much
used, often carelessly?
We define unconditional love as the choice to see the divinity in
all beings. Or, put another way, the choice to look only for the
positive in others -- to look for, and focus on only the beauty, the
strength, the good in those beings around you. And to look for the
beauty, the strength, the good in all of life. Or in All That Is.
All That Is is our definition of God or Goddess. That definition
includes all creation.
There are "negatives" and "positives" in
everything and everyone. No exceptions. While we do not define
negative or positive as "good or bad," most of your
society today chooses to use such labels.
Labels are always limiting, and ultimately useless, to any who
accept them unthinkingly. Once you label yourself or another, you
have limited and diminished (at least in your own mind) your or
their greater being, power, and divinity.
The only possible way you can ignore the divinity, the positive,
in another is to ignore it in yourself. You serve absolutely no one
-- not any of your fellow beings, human or non-human -- not the
Universe -- not All That Is -- no one, no thing -- if you do not
serve yourself first.
Many of you simply do not faithfully attend to your own needs and
desires. Yet if you don’t take care of yourself first, you’re
not much good to anyone else.
Does that sound selfish?
Well, it is selfish. Or, better, self-ish --
focusing on, and loving, yourself. Even some of your mainstream
religions tell you to love God and others as you love yourself.
But that message gets muddled, and part of it gets lost, in the
mass consciousness. The part that gets lost is the part about loving
yourself. As if that’s some kind of horrible sin.
And that has often resulted in your belief in the value of
self-sacrifice. You cannot, so this belief goes, do good (for God or
for others) unless you put yourself, as it were, at the bottom of
the totem pole.
That is exactly the opposite of the way it should be. You are at
the top of the totem pole. You take care of yourself first.
And then, from that centered place of peace and power within
yourself, you are best empowered to do the good, to do the service
you are urged to do by your society, your religions, your
governments, your teachers, etc.
If you are miserable in your life because of self-neglect -- and
all misery is rooted in self-neglect -- you cannot be much good to
another.
In this way of nurturing and loving yourself, you will find
within you a growing sense of joy and empowerment.
When you are feeling joyful and powerful, you will not only be
taking care of yourself. You will also be the best you can be for
others.
We say teach your loved ones, those under your care -- and most
of all, yourself -- only selfishness.
Make a commitment to take care of yourself. For it is only when
you appreciate and adore yourself first that you are empowered to
fully appreciate, adore, and unconditionally love others.
Life is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good. And the
key is taking care of yourself, first and always. You are
your most important relationship.
P.S. Tuning In,
a brand-new spiritual
movie featuring some of today's prominent channels and their spirit
guides, including Chief Joseph and me, has been released.
It's now available to the
public. Get
more information and order your copy here. Watch the trailer
(short video preview) here.
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