Addictions by John Cali

When we talk about addictions, we usually think of such issues as drugs, alcohol, sex, tobacco, food, etc. But addictions are not limited to those.

Until the past few years, in my own personal thinking, I had pretty much limited my idea of addictions to those. But there are far more addictions than the “standard” ones. And, in my opinion, our society mostly fails to understand and treat the underlying causes of addictions.

Here’s Spirit.

Spirit

You all came to this incarnation with the innate knowing that feeling good is your natural state of being. But most of you, somewhere along your physical path (usually quite early), were talked out of that knowing.

Some of you were even taught feeling good was a “sin.” So, on top of being talked out of feeling good, you were taught to feel guilty about it.

Given all that, it’s surprising to us there are not more of you addicted to something or other.

As John said, addictions are not limited to that list he gave — the usual “standard” list. There are others you may not have considered.

For example, are you a “people-pleaser?” Do you do whatever it takes to make others feel good or to gain their approval? Even at the cost of your own well-being? This is one of the biggest, most destructive human addictions we observe.

Your society, your governments are so immersed in their own narrow views of addictions that they have created “wars” on everything. War on drugs. War on alcohol. War on sex. War on tobacco. War on terror. And so on and on.

The only reason people engage in addictions to begin with is they simply want to reclaim their birthright to feel good.

Your conventional addiction treatments are largely ineffective. That’s because they’re looking in all the wrong places for causes and solutions.

You cannot, for example, “cure” anyone of alcohol addiction simply by denying them access to alcohol. The underlying cause is ignored — the desire to feel good is being frustrated. So they turn to alcohol to feel better about themselves and their lives.

Of course, the relief is only temporary, but it works.

Until your society realizes all addictions are simply a desire to feel good, to reclaim your birthright and your personal power, addictions will continue to plague humans.

The solution is more involved that we have time to discuss here today. But the essence of the solution is to teach people they can feel good by going inside and tapping into that spiritual power within. Then they will no longer need the addictive substances or behavior.

We’ve said this before, but as bizarre as it may sound, we believe addictions are a good thing. Because they temporarily take you away from your pain and help you feel good. You will — you must — ultimately come to the point where you know you don’t need anything or anyone outside yourselves to feel good. But, in the meanwhile, any light is better than the darkness.

*********************

Have you or any of your loved ones dealt with addictions? Please comment below.

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions. Please keep them kind and compassionate. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.

6 Responses

  1. Martha

    Hi John,
    Here is what I have learned.

    The 25 + years I put into putting my (intense) attention on telling the story of what happened to me in my childhood, and the ongoing alcoholic dysfunction in my family, the years and years of therapy, the endless workshops and healing modalities, the “support” groups etc telling that wounded child story over and over and over again in a kind of perpetual temper tantrum of despair and grief, NEVER MADE ME HAPPY.

    IT ONLY MADE ME AN EXPERT ON MY PAIN.

    Even the spiritual truths I recognized to be TRUE, I have to admit, I was pretty good at talking the talk and even teaching these principles to others. But because I was not yet ready to Let Go of my past and that old story of what happened to me, I was not walking the talk. And I was not able to be PRESENT IN THE NOW, WHERE GOD IS.
    For some people who have endured serious abuse as children, we need to tell that story as a launching off place. Had I not told that story, I don’t think I would be alive today. I needed a loving vessel to pour my broken heart into. I was terrified. Carolyn Myss advises telling that story three times, at most. There is a big difference between telling a story and becoming identified with it.
    I remember my mother telling me, ” therapy is supposed to be a way BACK to life, not a way of life”. I should have listened to my mother. She’s usually right about everything!

    In my case, I dined out that old story for far too long. And it kept me depressed, miserable, emotionally immature and stuck in UNFORGIVENESS and from the magnificence I am capable of.

    I am a powerful manifester. Whatever I put my attention upon, I create more of. BIG TIME!
    So I must be careful what I think and feel and say and do. Because that’s what I’ll be having for
    LUNCH tomorrow!

    Al Anon has saved my life on many occasions. I thank God for the wisdom and loving kindness of the people in those rooms. I love that program. I love AA. I love the shining eyes of people whose lives have been transformed and saved by the experience, strength and hope in those rooms. That’s called LOVE IN ACTION. LOVE is how miracles happen.

    And, I think we’ve turned a corner on our understanding. I do see your point, John. The very act of identifying yourself as an alcoholic is limiting and perpetuates the story.
    There is a new paradigm emerging. Beyond the limits of our previous understanding. Love always works.

    ” for now we see through a glass darkly, but THEN, face to face. THEN shall I know, even as also I am known..”

    My point of attraction is in the NOW.

    I want to tell a new story.
    I want to tell the story of the person I WANT TO BE and KNOW I CAN BE.
    I want to tell the story of my BEST SELF.

    I was born to SHINE.
    And that’s the story I want to tell from here on in.

    Love,
    Martha

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Martha, for sharing your story. I love what your mother said — “Therapy is supposed to be a way BACK to life, not a way of life.”

      Love,
      John

  2. Chris

    Indeed someone in my family joined AA about 8 mths. ago. This person is learning a lot about him/herself and at the same time coming to love him/herself. No matter wether or not one wants to put a label on it, the dependence on alcohol was making this person’s life extremely painful. By admitting the need for help and taking action by joining AA, he/she has become a healthier and much happier person. What does Spirit have to say about AA and similar organizations? I mean, if by joining AA this person gains a clearer understanding of the precious Being that he/she is, isn’t that a good thing?

    • John Cali

      Hi Chris,

      I haven’t asked Spirit about AA. But it’s obviously worked well for this person, and for others I know.

      For me personally — as you probably already know — I do not believe it helps to label yourself, in this case, “an alcoholic.” Nor do I believe it’s beneficial to go back into the pain of the past to heal the present.

      John

  3. Martha

    Hi John,
    I totally agree.
    All addictions are rooted in a desire to feel good.
    It was Abraham who taught that to me. It was a potent realization and it helped me to have compassion for my brother who is still an active alcoholic. And the truth is, I think HE has a lot more FUN than I do!!!!
    Alcoholism runs rampant through my family. I’ve been mad as hell at them for all being drunks and not giving me the love I wanted.

    A few days ago I mentioned how I had a new awareness – Ive had an addiction to being right. I guess I thought that would help me to feel good about myself. I can also see where it comes from.
    This is a blessed relief. I’d like to give that one up.

    Just want to share all that struggle and pain I shared the other day on the topic of Jesus led to a deeply prayerful time and a miracle.
    I was able, through Grace, to make amends to a brother (another addict/ alcoholic) last night from whom I’ve been essentially estranged for the past 40 yrs. I’ve always felt condemned by him, blamed, crucified.

    Recently I said something very condemning to him and knew I had to make amends. But I was so frightened of rejection, you know, the very thought of picking up the phone and talking to him, terrified me.
    Calling upon the Holy Spirit, and many friends and strangers to join me in prayer, (even going to my friend’s church with her last night—I was desperate on my knees!) Grace ENFOLDED ME. I SAT IN MY CAR IN THE MOONLIGHT AND MEDITATED FOR AN HOUR, ASKING FOR THE LIGHT AND LOVE OF GOD TO FILL MY HEART.
    I breathed God in deeply.
    WHEN I WAS READY, AND IN A PEACEFUL STATE, I CALLED.
    HE ANSWERED. He sounded unwell and broken in spirit.
    I APOLOGIZED, KEEPING IT VERY SIMPLE. How sorry I was for what I had said.
    I TOLD HIM ID BEEN FEELING SPIRITUALLY BANKRUPT, AND IN A BLACK HOLE OF DEPRESSION.
    I TOLD HIM I WAS THERE FOR HIM, THAT I LOVED HIM, THAT I MISSED HIM IN MY LIFE, AND WOULD DO ANYTHING IN MY POWER TO SUPPORT HIM.
    I SAID “I’VE BEEN IN A STATE OF UNFORGIVENESS, AND IT’S RUINED MY LIFE…I NEED TO FORGIVE EVERYBODY … ”
    HE SAID THROUGH HIS. TEARS, ” ME, TOO”.

    THIS IS A TRUE MIRACLE.
    IN GOD I CAN DO ALL THINGS.
    THIS IS CHRIST LIGHT IN ACTION.

    I FEEL AS THOUGH A HUGE BURDEN HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF ME.
    I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD BE POSSIBLE.
    ” There is no more holy spot on Earth, than where an ancient hatred has become a present love..”. ~ A Course in Miracles
    How much better it feels to be a PEACEMAKER!
    Talk about FEELING GOOD!!
    With love,
    martha

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.