Death of a Friend by John Cali

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Last week an old and dear friend from my childhood died. I celebrated.

John Cali

I realize that may sound cold and callous to some folks, perhaps even to some of you reading this. But I actually did celebrate after my sister told me of my friend’s death.

To explain, let me go back to days long past.

I’ve known Joe most of my life, over fifty years now. Though he was much older than me, when I became an adult we grew very close. We were like brothers. I have many warm and happy memories of our days together, including some pretty wild times. We knew how to have fun!

We never completely lost touch with each other, but we did drift apart after his wife died about fifteen years ago. I contacted him a few times, but he never responded. I never knew why.

I would hear news about him now and then from family and friends. He seemed to be drifting into a deep sadness and was alienated from some of his own family. He became seriously ill a couple years ago. But he lingered on in what sounded like a deepening state of depression.

Then he had a massive stroke a couple weeks ago and died a few days later. I knew he’d been unhappy for many years, and life no longer held any allure for him.

So I celebrated because his death was truly a healing for him. I knew my dear old friend was happy again.

Here’s Spirit.


Death is not what it seems to most humans. Nothing new there — you’ve probably heard us say that before.

Death is an event we in these dimensions celebrate in the same way you in your physical dimensions celebrate birth. To us, birth and death are not opposites, but only different places on the spectrum of eternal life.

Somehow, somewhere along the trail, if you will, humans got it all mixed up. You forgot what life was all about.

So when you incarnated into your physical bodies, you pretty soon forgot who you were and why you came.

Of course, that forgetting has served you well because it allowed you to fully immerse yourselves in your physical experiences.

But the true meaning of death, at one point in your human evolution, got so scrambled, you literally lost it. It became something you never intended.

You began to see death as “the end” of you. Your churches taught you death was even a punishment for “sin.” And yet, they held out the hope you would go to something better after you died.

Your governments have institutionalized death as the ultimate penalty for “sin.” They give the “sinner” the “death penalty.”

What they don’t know is they are doing the “sinners” a favor by “penalizing” them with death. If they really wanted to penalize them, they’d let them continue to live on in their self-created misery instead of offering them the sweet release of death.

And that’s what death is to those unhappy souls who, like John’s old friend, want nothing more than to be released from their pain. Death is a release, a healing, a rebirth into new life, into the joy and peace they left behind when they incarnated.

You never lose those you love. In death your loved ones are often closer to you than in life. They are right there beside you. They want to communicate with you, to let you know they are still there, loving you. Communication with them is no more difficult than talking with them when they were physically right there with you.

What you call death and life, friends, are only different places on the spectrum of eternal life. There is no end to you. You decide when to incarnate. You decide when to leave your physical bodies. These are choices you make. You all choose when to live in physical form, and when to die and leave your physical form.

You can live joyously and you can die joyously. You do not have to die unhappy and ill, as John’s friend did. But when you are in those circumstances, death truly is a healing.

It’s a time to celebrate.

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