Does It Matter What Other People Say or Think About You? by John Cali


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On the internet I occasionally see harshly critical opinions of me and my work with Spirit. I still sometimes get hate mail.

Years ago that sort of thing bothered me—a lot. Today I’ve learned it doesn’t matter what people say or think about me. That’s a very freeing feeling.

All that matters, for all of us, is that we follow the path that is right and good for us.

When you do that—another lesson I’ve learned over the years—you will touch more lives, and more powerfully, than if you took the path of caution, dreading what someone may say or think of you.

In fact, I’ve gotten to the point now where it doesn’t matter what people say or think of me, whether it’s good or bad. After all, other people’s opinions of me have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.

That detachment has brought me far more peace and joy in my work and my life than anything else ever has.

I love that saying, “Your opinion of me is none of my business.” (I don’t know who said it first, as it’s attributed to at least several people.) Yet I see so many folks suffering endlessly and needlessly because of someone’s opinion. Detachment is the key.


Sometimes our opinions can be dangerous, as this funny video demonstrates:



Related links:
Opinions: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Other People’s Opinions


How do you feel when someone criticizes or judges you? Do you take it personally? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.

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16 Responses

  1. Emma

    I love and appreciate your work! A timely message indeed.
    I’m still learning that what others think of me is none of my business.
    Love, Light and Blessings,

    • John Cali

      Thank you so much, Emma, for your kind words! Many folks are still learning that lesson.

      I hope you’re doing well.

      Love, John

  2. Linda

    Thanks John. This message is an important one. One that I have read before and agree with. However, it is a challenge to remember it while in the midst of being judged. Thank you for the reminder. I’ll take this message in a little deeper.

  3. Karen

    What a timely post! (Of course it is, right?) Just a few days ago, I was discussing my new website and blog with a friend. “I’ve matured to a point in my life where I don’t need everyone to like me anymore,” I said. He nodded with understanding.

    I spent many years holding back my true feelings and opinions for fear of negative opinion. Now I’m confident with my own expression because it feels true to me. More importantly, I don’t need it to feel true to anyone else. If what I say or write feels relevant and appropriate to others, great. If not, great too because I trust that those people will then gravitate to opinions more in line with their own thoughts and feelings.

    Resonance is a beautiful thing. Thank you for this post, John. Enjoy this beautiful day.


    • John Cali

      Hi Karen,

      Thanks very much for sharing.

      I’ve discovered anyone who has the courage to put themselves in the public eye, as you have, is going to have critics. My policy is to ignore the destructive, mean-spirited criticism — and acknowledge the constructive, well-intended criticism.

      Congratulations on your new website and blog! I wish you all the best with it.

      Have a great week!


  4. Micki

    Hi John,

    Like you, years ago, I used to be upset if someone thought ill of me, but now and for some time I really don’t give it any thought at all, people are entitled to think or say what they like and take the consequences good or bad. Life, I have found is meant to be enjoyed and it is such a waste of good energy to worry about what people might think or say, the energy is far better being used in positive thoughts, love and joy for just being alive.

    Huge hugs to you John,

  5. Jackie

    I have seen and heard the beautiful messages given to humanity through you John. There are many who have much praise and good will towards you and your work. Judgement comes from a projection of fear and insecurity, Anyone who judges others has judgement towards their self. Feeling compassion for those who judge, and honouring and loving yourself are the best actions. Since everything is Divine, nothing can be wrong. It’s all about perception and love.

    • John Cali

      Thanks so much, Jackie, for your kind words.

      I remember something John of God, the legendary Brazilian healer, said recently. He was asked how he felt about those who call him a fraud. He said, “I pray for them.” Great answer!

  6. Jeanne

    It doesn’t really matter what others think of you or what you do. It’s actually none of your business what others think of you. Only what you think of you is important, although admittedly it is nice to have someone pat you on the back and say “Well done”.

    I don’t pay much attention when others criticize me. They very seldom do, anyway. If they do, I usually can see why they feel that way, even though I do not agree with them. I mostly interact with people on the internet who usually have similar views to mine, my husband, who adores me and doesn’t criticize and the Amish, who don’t criticize people.

    Just a thought. How would you feel if the Westboro Baptist Church APPROVED of you? Yikes! As someone has said, live your life so that the WBC will picket your funeral.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Jeanne. I love that — live your life so that the WBC will picket your funeral. 🙂

  7. Conshana

    Some years back, Terry Cole-Whitaker wrote a book I never read, but the title told me more than was needed for me at the time: “What you think of me is none of my business”.
    That came to my attention at a point in my life that made it a life-changer.
    I can only wear one pair of shoes at a time, so I might just as well make that pair my own, and leave my own foot-prints in the sand. And if they swirl in circles, please do the polka with me~!

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Conshana. I remember reading Terry Cole-Whittaker’s book. I think she was the originator of that saying, but I don’t know for sure. We should all leave our own footprints and do the polka! 🙂

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