Loving Relationships by John Cali

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As you might expect, one of the questions Spirit and I get most often is about relationships. Especially romantic relationships and relationships with parents, usually the mother, sometimes the father.

John Cali

The specific questions vary, but generally revolve around two issues. First: How can I stop the other person from making me feel bad? Second: How can I make the relationship more loving?

Here’s Spirit.


Relationships are a fertile field for your personal and spiritual growth. Every one of you have chosen your relationships because you, at the soul level, have clearly seen the chosen relationships are your greatest opportunities for growth.

It really doesn’t matter if we’re talking about romantic relationships or parent-child relationships. Or, for that matter, any other relationships.

Friends, it’s all about growth.

What so many humans have yet to understand is that your lives are all about growing. And about growing in joy. Your life’s purpose, as you’ve heard us say often, is joy. Period!

You have the freedom to choose whatever brings you joy. Whatever you choose will certainly bring you growth. It doesn’t matter if, in hindsight, you judge your choices “good” or “bad.”

Good or bad, your choices always result in your greater personal and spiritual growth. Always! No exceptions.

Instead of beating up on yourselves for having chosen, for example, a “bad” lover, rejoice you chose that lover.

Why rejoice? Because now you know what kind of a lover you do not want. You now know more about the kind of lover you do want.

As for your parents, you obviously cannot go back and choose new biological parents. But you can trust in the wisdom of your higher self when you, as your higher self, chose your parents before incarnating.

Your higher self’s choice of your parents was absolutely perfect. Hear that? Perfect!

Why perfect? Because those parents were, at the time of your physical birth, your greatest opportunity for growth in this lifetime.

The key, friends, to creating loving relationships — and to turning your current relationships into more loving ones — is to simply trust all is well, no matter where you are. The key is to look for the positives, the opportunities in all your relationships, whether you consider them “good” or “bad.”

When you do that, you will know, in your heart and gut, which are the best relationships for you.

Choose only the best ones. Leave behind the others.

That, friends, is the key to creating more and more loving relationships. It’s the key to creating more and more growth. Most importantly, it’s the key to creating more joy.

Joy is your life’s only purpose.

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