Stuck by John Cali

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John Cali

Recently we’ve had a fair number of people coming to us because they’re feeling stuck in their lives. They often point to something or someone from the past as the cause. It could be a past lifetime, or the past of this lifetime. Two common threads running through all this are wounded relationships and forgiveness (or the lack of it).

A friend wrote a few weeks ago about some challenges in her life. I was struck by one thing she said — a therapist told her she was unconsciously harboring hateful feelings toward a certain family member. And the therapist advised delving into the past pain to purge it from her present life.

While I won’t say that’s bad advice, it reminds me of something author Barry Neil Kaufman said in his book, Outsmarting Your Karma and Other Preordained Conditions: “Psychoanalysis is skin-diving into a bathtub of old bones . . . .”

I think psychoanalysis can be useful for certain people under certain conditions. But I also think it’s vastly overrated and overused in our society today.

Blaming the past for our present dis-eases or disorders is so contrary to what Spirit, Abraham, and other wise spirit guides have said over the years. As Seth, another wise spirit guide, said many years ago, “All your power is in this present moment.” And you’ve probably heard Spirit and Abraham say the same thing many times.

Now let’s get Spirit’s perspective on all that.


Many people who’ve come to us over the years find themselves frustrated with the challenges they have in their lives. Often, the same challenges and issues keep cropping up again and again. A common one, for example, is going from one unworkable painful relationship to another just like it.

As John said, many folks are convinced they’re stuck in an unhappy mud hole of a life because of something or someone in their past. And yet, friends, it’s never your past that is creating your present. It is you that is creating your present, every moment, every experience.

The past certainly is a part of who you are now. Because of your past, you are where and who you are now. And your choices today will create your experiences tomorrow.

Having said that, however, you must remember you are the creator of your reality, of all your experiences, whether you consider them good or bad. If you are seeing someone or something in your past as the cause of whatever you’re experiencing now, you’re giving your power away. You are making yourself a victim. And that serves no one well.

It’s not really the past that’s controlling, or even influencing, you now. It’s your attention to the past in this present moment. Nothing comes into your awareness or your experience by accident. It’s all there because you drew it to yourself with your thoughts, with the vibration you put out there.

It sometimes can seem hard to let go of the past. And yet that’s the only way to healing yourself in the present moment.

This has little to do with forgiving. It’s fine to forgive. But as long as you just forgive, you’re still lingering in your past pain. In forgiving someone, you’re still focusing on the hurt they supposedly created in your life. And that gets you nowhere. You need to take one further step — and that is to forget.

When you make the choice to heal yourself, and to own your considerable power, you will never again be stuck

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