Suicide: A Solution? by John Cali

John Cali

A reader recently wrote us this letter:

“Have you published anything about suicide? A friend of mine is depressed, and he’s considering it. I think it’s foolish unless there is absolutely no hope, and that’s an extremely rare case at best.

“Are there occasions when suicide is the only solution?”

Here’s Spirit.


We are delighted to offer you, for your consideration, our view of this often weighty subject.

Our reader asked if there are occasions when suicide is the only solution.

Our first response to her question would be this:

Life is not a problem waiting to be solved. Life is an experience waiting to be lived.

So we cannot say to you suicide is always “the only solution” to a difficult life. We are not saying suicide is wrong or immoral or evil. We are saying it is not normally the answer to a sad or depressing life.

First let’s talk a little about suicide and its definition. Suicide, as your society defines it, is the taking of your own physical life by your own hand.

If, however, you believe, as we do, you all create your own realities, that must also mean you create your own physical death.

You choose the time and manner of your death–whether by “accident,” by illness, or by your own hand.

So, in a real and literal sense, you all will ultimately commit suicide. It’s that simple.

If you view death, or suicide, in that light, there can be no right or wrong. Your death may be appropriate or inappropriate, depending on your personal circumstances. But whether you call it suicide or otherwise, it is neither right nor wrong.

Remember this:

Ultimately, your highest and best authority is your own inner guidance. Always. No exceptions.

So if one finds her/himself in an intolerable and excruciatingly painful life–the details are unimportant–is suicide the only solution?

Sometimes, yes–or so it might seem to that person.

Let us paint for you this idyllic scenario:

You are born into a loving family and are raised in comfortable circumstances. You mature into a caring, loving human being, successful in many ways–in your finances, your relationships, your work, your health, and so on.

You live a long, fulfilling life and feel only gratitude that you were so blessed. You reach the age of 90 years, in good physical health and a sound state of mind. You decide you’ve had enough for this lifetime.

So you lay your body down in bed one night, and you go to sleep. When you awaken you are embraced by all those you’ve known and loved through the eons. And your physical body remains behind in your bed.

We see no difference between the scenario we’ve just described to you, and a scenario in which a depressed person puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. In both cases, it was time to go.

So we are not talking about suicide as a solution. Suicide, as we’ve defined it here, is a natural, unavoidable experience. An experience every physical human will ultimately pass through.

Is suicide a solution?


Is suicide right or wrong?


Is suicide inevitable?



Please share your thoughts with us below.

6 Responses

  1. Jane Hodkin

    John, thanks for the suicide information. Interesting that this email came through the morning I had awakened at 3:33 am from an uncomfortable dream. I thought of Nate and his last month on this earth. The cold area that the time of his death. You knowing me, I felt guilty for not being there for him. Thanks again.

    • John Cali

      Hi Jane,

      You’re most welcome. I know, from your experience with Nate and from other experiences in our family, how difficult this topic is. Maybe you weren’t there for Nate at the time, but you are certainly there for him now. He knows that, and does not want you to feel any guilt. All that lives on now is love, and that knows no death.

  2. Jeannie

    Seth also said all death is a suicide.

    We choose to live, to die, to be happy, to be rich , to be poor. It is all our responsibility. Many people have considered it at one time or another some succeed, some go on to a life changing experience. Suicide is neither right or wrong. I believe the other thing Seth said about it was that whatever took you in that direction you will repeat, it is something that’s a question, a deep question in your psyche. Now you repeat it simply (this is me now) because it is a loose end, something you need to face.

    Being one who looked closely at the prospect I found a way to change the reason why I was so unhappy, so desperate to leave. Others may not find their way through those deep dark thoughts and end their life, it is all they could handle and again there is no right or wrong.

    I have faced death more than once and chose life……….there is something I have to accomplish in order to go to another phase of life and that phase leads through the swinging door of life/death. Right now as we all are doing we are sharpening our skills for the new life that is around the corner, through the door is wider, more depth and we need to understand and know ourselves more deeply.

    In a way to me suicide can be a way of starting over but to me I know I live forever for I am alive in death as in life for death is merely a door to new beginnings.

    love and hugs

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Jeannie, for sharing your experiences with this often-contentious issue.

      Love & hugs,

  3. Linda

    Hi John,

    Question for you. I know someone who suffers from depression and took enough sleeping pills to ensure her suicide would be accomplished, To her frustration, she is still here with the help of medics that were called by a family member when he found her. In talking with her, she feels she was forced to come back to her body. Does this occur because of unfinished business? Does her decision to commit suicide not take precedence or was it her soul who decided to have her come back to her body? Thank you for any light you can shed on this interesting subject. Thank you for all you do. Blessings to you.

    • John Cali

      Hi Linda,

      Thank you for your question.

      As we all know, every experience we have involving others is a co-creation.

      In my opinion, this lady did not necessarily have any “unfinished business.” She, her soul, and the family member jointly created her “failed” suicide. No one forced her to come back to her body. If she really had wanted to leave, neither the medics nor anyone else could have prevented that.

      What was her reason for coming back? I do not know. The only person who can answer that is her.

      Ultimately everything works out for our highest and best good. As it will with this lady too.


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