The Fear of Death by John Cali

Image Copyright © 2006 Nevit Dilmen

Last week one of our family died at a relatively young age. She’d been suffering from a serious illness since she was in her 40s.

I know, as my spirit guides often say, we all die at the time and in the manner we choose. Yet when someone close dies, it’s still an adjustment for us—often a difficult one.

Adding to the difficulty is the almost universal fear of death.

Here are a few thoughts from Spirit.


Your greatest fear is walking into your greatness. If you simply let go of all your feelings of unworthiness, lack, low self-esteem, etc., you would wake up tomorrow morning in what would literally be a new world. Your fear of death would be gone.

You would have this shining moment of insight. You would remember who you truly are. In that moment of remembering, all fear would vanish. Only peace and joy would remain. You would know all is well. You would know there is no death, only life.

When your time comes, you would savor the sweet taste of physical death, for you know it is only a new beginning, an exciting journey back home.

Life is not dangerous. Life—and death—are perfectly safe. You live in a safe universe. The only “danger” is you do not think you’re safe. You use fear to give you that false sense of security. As you say, “Fear will keep me safe because it helps me avoid what can harm me.”

Nothing can harm you. Sure, you can live in fear and give yourself a false sense of security. Or you can live in love and give yourself a real sense of security.

You are love. You are God. Fear is not who you are. Fear is not part of God.

Death does not exist. Let go of the fear of death, and then you will soar.

Adapted from Spirit Oracle Cards by John Cali, Frederic Calendini, and Stephanie Quesada (Great Western Publishing, 2013)


The legendary Robert Monroe, founder of The Monroe Institute, talks about the fear of death in this video:


Related links:
Doc Holliday
Doctor Death


Do you fear death? Why? How can you alleviate your fear? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

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About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations With Spirit: Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.

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24 Responses

  1. Su Crutchfield

    Love and hugs to you and your family at this time of transition. Yes, it does seem that your relative was ready to go, and I can imagine her soaring now, in her new life. Thank you so very much for sharing Spirit’s beautiful truths about death and life. I loved them.

    I too have read Anita Moorjani’s book – isn’t it fantastic?


    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Su!

      Yes, Anita’s book is fantastic! I think everyone should read it, particularly those who fear death — their own or that of a loved one.

      Love and hugs to you!

  2. Conshana

    My condolences on your seeming loss, John, and my blessings to the family member who has been freed of physical pain.

    Recently, I myself have come close to crossing over, but my time was not yet. That said, I remember the sense of calm I felt, even as the ER staff was going crazy~! Only later, did I find out how so very close I was to the doorway.

    Fear is our only enemy, and all too many “teachers” are the propagators of that fear. How Sad~!

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Conshana. As you implied, I do not see it as a loss. She was suffering and ready to go. So I view it as a blessing.

      I’m delighted, my friend, you decided not to go through that doorway just yet. I think you still have more to do in this lifetime.

      Fear truly is our only enemy — amen to that!


  3. Jenelle

    Dearest John~

    My heart goes out to you and your family for the passing of your relative at such a young age. It sounds like she suffered for a long time, and knowing that we all attract what we need to us in the way of experience, I’m sure your relative grew tremendously through it all. Those around her benefited in their own way from her experience as well. It is never an easy process, though, and very tough to walk through.

    For me, “death” is simply and beautifully “going home”, and I have no fear of it in any way. I will welcome it when it is my time, as I will know that my journey here on Earth has ended for the time being, and that I’m meant to be doing something else.

    Ahhhh—the blissful feeling of leaving my physical body behind and reveling in the spirit world, fully aware and present to the totality of who I am.

    Of course, I AM THAT I AM. I AM LOVE. I AM GOD. I AM HOME!

    Healing hugs and love for you and your family 🙂
    Love you, John!!!

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Dear Jenelle!

      I agree with you — in “death” we are simply going back home. I remember a dear Irish Catholic priest from many years ago, Vince Keene. In one of his memorable talks, he gave me a new perspective on death — he said, simply, death can also be a healing.

      Thanks again, Jenelle, so much!

      I love you!

  4. Ed Peterson

    Hi John:

    A few profound thoughts I have been contemplating lately are a fitting comment to your topic today:

    – I am an eternal being. If you say this to yourself every night before you go to sleep and contemplate it for a few minutes before sleeping, it will have an impact on your life.

    – I chose to be born into this time and life. I add this to the above, because when you acknowledge that this life is a choice, and everything in it is a choice, then you can begin to slowly take on the creation of your life.

    – I am here because I am a creator, and I am creating everything in my here and now. This is why we are all here, to create. Once we stop, for whatever reason, we depart.

    Love and light.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Ed, for your wisdom. Those statements are very powerful, and I think everyone could benefit from your advice.


  5. Claire

    Hi John and all,

    Jerry thank you, your message has really touched me …

    Honestly, I don’t know if I’m scared of death for me … I’m sure that as my son needs me on Earth, I still want to be there!

    I know from my childhood that life is not just what is between birth and death, but I have no experience. When I fall asleep at night, I say to me that it’s like a little death and that “what I am” lives elsewhere …

    Those I loved who have gone missing me a little, although I’m happy that their journey continues elsewhere or return back on Earth.
    Am I afraid to live, sometimes I’m afraid of my mistakes and wasting precious time on Earth, but I have too much sense of humor to take seriously my bads adventures !
    In fact, I am fascinated by the mystery of the inner being, and I would like more inner connection, as some people, I have phases more or less deep.

    I liked the story of Anita Moorjani, I found a rare example of the lack of time. I wanted to buy his book for me and my mother, she is 87 years old and we talk about it, she is afraid of suffering, she already has pain in the spine and I understand.
    It’s really great that people who have had this NDE’s experience have the courage to speak.

    I was 15 and I read the autobiography of Paramahansa Yogananda, this was the first time I read something about an out of body experience. For the Bachelor of French, the teacher had chosen me a poem by Charles Baudelaire, the one I wanted, and I was transported by joy as if I had received a message from the Spirit .
    This poem :


    Above the lakes, above the vales,
    The mountains and the woods, the clouds, the seas,
    Beyond the sun, beyond the ether,
    Beyond the confines of the starry spheres,

    My soul, you move with ease,
    And like a strong swimmer in rapture in the wave
    You wing your way blithely through boundless space
    With virile joy unspeakable.

    Fly far, far away from this baneful miasma
    And purify yourself in the celestial air,
    Drink the ethereal fire of those limpid regions
    As you would the purest of heavenly nectars.

    Beyond the vast sorrows and all the vexations
    That weigh upon our lives and obscure our vision,
    Happy is he who can with his vigorous wing
    Soar up towards those fields luminous and serene,

    He whose thoughts, like skylarks,
    Toward the morning sky take flight
    — Who hovers over life and understands with ease
    The language of flowers and silent things!

    Thank you to remember as Life is precious and just a fabulous experience ! 🙂

    • Chris

      I don’t know that I fear death. I do fear being alone. It would be ideal if my husband and I left together.
      Claire, thank you for the heart touching poem. I looked for it on-line but I didn’t find the translation you showed. Yours is the best.
      John, the video, I found it a bit unsatisfying. Not sure where it was going.
      However, great topic. We can always use encouragement to release fear of death … of everything!
      Love you.

  6. Susan

    There is a wonderful organization called the Near Death Experience Reasearch Forum. They have a website at: with a lot of experiences shared from all over the world.

  7. chuck

    Just simply let go. Ah geez is that all I have to do? Wow I never thought of that! Excuse the hard sarcasm, please. I am in rare form today and will play devil’s advocate pretty well. If it was so simple as spirit says to let go everyone would just drop it like a ball in the hand. The only problem I find in letting it go is it always comes back! I have had shining moments of insight that made me feel invincible but how do you keep it and anchor it in? It seems whenever I get to that point all of a sudden my life turns for the worse. Like a rug pulled out from under you. Like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown every time he believes he can kick that ball!

    I have a strong subconscious negative personality that will always look at the negative first. It has taken all my will just to combat that everyday and to do the inner work necessary to keep it from not consuming me! If I could simply let that part of me go I would give ANYTHING for it to go away! I am done with it but it won’t go away! So please show me how simply it is!

    • Ed Peterson

      Hey Chuck:
      Every thought has two sides to it and you can choose which side to see. If you find yourself focusing on the negative side (through habit) you will notice yourself not feeling good. This is your inner being (higher-self, soul ..) letting you know you are not focused in the way that is in alignment with who you really are. So the thing to do is try and find a little better felling thought about the subject, then a little better one, then a little better one until you can move yourself to feeling good about the subject.
      A really good book to read that will help you is Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.
      You are much more than you remember you are, and in those moments of insight, you are connecting with yourself.

    • Soulkid

      Dear Chuck,

      just want to give you the feedback, that you are not alone with these kind of thoughts. People would call me an optimistic person, alway looking for something to make me laugh and play. However, I do also create myself the experience from time to time, feeling like kicking the ball and landing hard on the ground instead.

      I acknowledge the reality of the law of attraction. However, I believe we get formed from our childhood experiences. And if our basic trust gets distressed in a way, it’s our challenge to regain it back. As we choose our parents and the circumstances we birth into, this seems to be a challenge our souls wanted to take. And in the moments I actually manage to reunite with my Inner Being, the experience is more satisfying and extra-ordinary because of the contrast.

      Sometimes I feel like a lame duck, just because I haven’t manage to create the life I feel I do have the potential to live yet … When I talk to people of spiritual groops they seem to be always optimistic and at peace with life and never seem to carry an angry thought. I know, in the spiritual community, we are bound to have a positive focus. However, I wish we had the opportunity to discuss spiritual issues in a way that felt a little bit more all-embracingly.

      According to Abraham, the universe expands because of the contrast. It is essential to acknowledge what we do not like to know what we would prefer, so that the Universe can deliver it.
      And as we are God in human form, we have the power to create a better version of the God-experience. Just to be constantly satisfied with what-is will hardly take us anywhere.

      I personally think, you’re doing well, Chuck. You feel a deep urge to be happy and that makes you contribute to a better world.
      They say that the most courageous people are not the ones with no fear but who overcome their deepest fear.
      Don’t let yourself down, just because life made you create experieces of hardship.
      As John said, we’re making it all up. But sometimes it needs a little more time to really, really get it. But till then be sure – you’re not alone!

      Warm regards,

      • chuck

        Unfortunately we are all truly alone cause nobody can do it for you. If I have learned anything it is that but it is nice to have cheerleaders and people rooting for you! It is the day to day grind that kills me. I seem so close to making a breakthrough. I just feel done with this reality. The violence, greed, deception etc.. it just keeps increasing. I feel grateful to be somewhat consciously aware and it would be great to really communicate and connect with more people on the level.

        I have so much to give and share but I can’t get out of my own way! I don’t know how to go about it. Money stops me from progressing. I’m bad with it and I have a hard time knowing what I should do to make it. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I know it is just an energy exchange but it is a very important one that we all rely on and it drives me nuts going after it for the sake of survival and becoming a slave to it just barely enjoying life and WORKING HARD. They say you work hard, you make money. It is the biggest lie ever told! I would rather it come to me without me thinking about it by just living my passions. If I can get out of survival mode!

        I feel like all I do is try to figure out how I am going to make money or how I am going to pay for this or that. The whole figuring it out is driving me insane and thus makes me hate money thus makes it unavailable to me cause I push it away through my vibration. All I want to do is work on my spirituality and find true joy!

        My other issue is with my Mother who plays a big part in my lack of … name it, money, confidence, self esteem which is all subconscious programming. It takes time to work on yourself and really do the work and so the day to day survival just ticks me off cause it gets in the way.

        I know I don’t like living on this planet the way it is and maybe I came to try and change it and maybe I didn’t either way it seems to be going to hell in a hand basket as they say and there is not much I can do about it.

        I want to be Grizzly Adams! Take me home, take me home! Give me peace not this nightmare!

        Thank you, Annette I wish you the best in your personal journey! May we both conquer!

  8. Helen Behd

    Thank you for the wonderful, awe inspiring and gentle messages. I always feel so good after reading them.

  9. jerry

    Hello John and Spirit,

    I observe in my life that I don’t usually contemplate my death when things seem to be going well in my life. When I have an unusual bout of some sort of illness or pain, it is on my mind quite a bit.

    I have only been present one time while a someone passed and that was my wife in hospital. I have seen two others pass away while I was asleep and talked to them.

    From these experiences, I know that the one passing did not express any fear at all, in fact, they seemed to be very happy. The fact that they all passed from serious illness and the suffering they chose can be somewhat disturbing, especially if we do not come to the realization we choose our circumstances of life and death.

    Also, the term ‘death’ sounds very final, a connotation of nothingness. Studying Near Death Experiences, especially by children or going to meetings where they talk about the subject will lower some barricades of fear. I went to IANDS (International Association of Near Death Studies) meetings for several years. They have them in most cities. Patients who have experienced the NDE’s and doctors who study them are guest speakers and you can ask questions later in the meeting. The meetings are free. As we become familiar with this life experience, which we all pass through, I feel it will help us to truly live life fully and have a most wonderful passing over when we feel it is time and not from illness.

    May we all live and pass over joyously 🙂

    Love to all and thanks for all you do, John!

    • John Cali

      Hi Jerry,

      Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I remember you’d talked before about being with your wife when she died. I’ve never had that experience (in this lifetime), but I’m sure it must be very special, especially when it’s a loved one.

      I agree with you — illness and suffering can seem meaningless to someone who doesn’t believe we create our experiences. Right now I’m reading a fascinating book, “Dying To Be Me,” by Anita Moorjani. She talks about her near-death experience, and all she learned from it.

      That sounds like a great organization — IANDS. I’m sure many people benefit from it. When we understand what death really is, there is no fear.

      Yes, indeed, may we all live and pass over joyously!

      Thank you again, Jerry, for sharing — and for your kind words.


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