Follow-up: What Are You Talking About? by John Cali

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We received some interesting questions and other feedback in response to last week’s newsletter. If you didn’t see that newsletter, you might first want to take a look at it here.

John Cali

One of the responses we received was from my dear friend, Suzanne Keyes, who sent us an email asking for some clarification from Spirit on last week’s newsletter.

By the way, Suzanne has a wonderful website called Finding My Way to Well-Being.

Here is Suzanne’s email, followed by Spirit’s response.


Hi John,

The topic of your latest newsletter is something I’m getting better and better at — focusing on what I want instead of what I don’t want.

Spirit says don’t talk about what we don’t want, even to ourselves. Sometimes I need to talk to someone. I need to share to feel like I’m not alone. It’s fairly rare that I talk to another person, but often talk to God/Inner Being about things that bother me. I give them to this Presence and follow up by asking for whatever I want (usually I ask for good feeling thoughts about the subject).

I can see what Spirit means as far as saying that we aren’t to dwell on what we don’t want or keep repeating it to ourselves. Sometimes it’s a relief to say something out loud to another person — sometimes not and I don’t do it often. But I love talking to God about what’s going on and feel I have a friend there who will take it off my shoulders. I do it every night for whatever is left over from the day that doesn’t feel good.

I feel a little troubled by the newsletter statement because I sure do want to create more of what I want — I want to feel good and feel connected to Source. I have to feel that I can trust God to talk to about anything and feel good. I’ve got to have someone I can talk to!

I can also feel that I am wanting you to say something to take away this troubled feeling and that’s not your job. It’s my job. In the time it took me to write this email I’ve already decided that it’s important for me to talk to Source and I will continue doing it.

I would like clarification, though, of what Spirit means. Thank you for your time, John.

Wishing you a loving and delightful weekend,


And now here’s Spirit.


We wish to thank Suzanne and John for giving us this opportunity to expand on this subject — a subject we know many of you struggle with.

Let us briefly review part of last week’s newsletter:

  • John’s neighbor often dwells on her problems, almost to the exclusion of being aware of all she has to be grateful for in her life.
  • We said to deny you have problems is not beneficial for you. When you deny anything, you are still thinking about it — dwelling on it — and therefore creating more of it.
  • Let us quote ourselves here: What it boils down to, friends, is this: Never, ever talk about anything to anyone, including yourselves, you do not want more of. It’s that simple.

We could have expanded on that last item to perhaps make it clearer.

We did not mean to say talking about your problems — whether with other people, your higher selves, or God — is not good. When you are first faced with a challenge, you certainly don’t want to deny it, as we said earlier.

However, there are two key elements here.

First, ask yourselves what your intent is in talking about your challenges.

Often, as with John’s neighbor, the intent is to gain the sympathy of others. Also, there is sometimes a perverse pleasure people take in recounting their woes again and again. And the more they recount them, the more woes they attract.

So that’s number one — ask yourselves, and give an honest answer, “Why am I wanting to talk about this?”

The second key element is wanting to feel good again.

If that’s your intent in talking to someone, anyone, about your problems, that’s a good thing.

Why is it a good thing?

Because your intent is to get yourselves back into alignment with your higher selves. In other words, to feel good again. When you’re feeling good, you’re in alignment.

If talking to another helps you do that, great!

But once you start feeling a bit better, it would not serve you to go back and start talking about all your problems again.

Do you see where we’re going with this?

Focus only on feeling good, and doing whatever it takes to feel good, under allcircumstances. And when you’re moving in that direction, by whatever means work for you, you’re getting back into alignment with your higher selves.

In that alignment, you always feel good. Your higher selves will not walk into your pain with you. But they will walk into your joy with you.

The bottom line here, friends, is this:

Do whatever it takes to make yourselves feel good. Then you are in full alignment with your higher selves and with God.

And then all is well.

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