Relax and Be Who You Are by John Cali

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John Cali

This past holiday season was a most interesting time for me personally. I immersed myself in the joy and spirit of the season, as I do every year. But this year I paid more attention than I normally do to what other folks were doing and feeling at the holidays, including some of my own family.

Many of them were totally stressed out and unbelievably miserable. One told me of the holiday pressure he was feeling, exclaiming “I hate this season!” Another said she “couldn’t wait until Christmas is over.”

I realize most people consider it an impossible goal to be joyful all year round. But, ironically, for many it seems still more impossible to be joyful even for a few days during one of the most joyful seasons of the year.

If we cannot take a little time to relax and really feel the joy of life now and then, what’s the use of living? Which reminds me of something another family member said: “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.” What a way to live!

During this time when we wish others peace on earth and good will, can we not make the time and effort to give ourselves a little peace and good will?

Isn’t life supposed to be an adventure? Isn’t it supposed to be fun, at least occasionally? Can’t we just relax and be ourselves, get connected with our higher selves and be who we really are?

Here’s Spirit.


Most of you get occasional glimpses of what it’s like to see life from a higher perspective, from the perspective of your soul. All too often, however, those glimpses are, as you say, “too few and far between.”

It does not have to be that way. You can make a simple choice and change it all in the blink of an eye–literally, that quickly.

Think about those times in your life when you were feeling good–whether they be times past, times present, or times yet to come. Let your thoughts drift to a time when you were feeling excited, passionate, powerful, joyful.

Even those among you who’ve had difficult lives can recall a time when you were joyful. You can recall something that made you joyful, someone who made you joyful.

Spend at least a few minutes with this. Put aside all your cares and concerns, all other thoughts and tasks. And just immerse yourself in the pleasure and passion of the joy you felt, or expect to feel. This is absolutely one of the finest, most powerful acts of love you can do for yourself.

Once you’ve done this for a few minutes, imagine how it would be to feel that way all the time–full of passion, full of joy, full of yourself, full of the wondrous being of light you truly are.

That is how your soul feels at every moment of its existence. That is how your soul feels for all eternity.

And when you are feeling joyful, or passionate, or blissful, or peaceful, or whatever you define as “feeling good,” then you are, at that moment, fully connected to your soul. You are, at that moment, relaxing and being who you really are.

Feeling good is a choice you can freely make. In fact, it’s a choice you make, whether fully conscious of it or not, at every moment of your life. You cannot avoid making the choice. That is an integral part of being human–to, in every waking moment, answer the question, “How do I want to feel–good or bad?”

Oh, we realize you may not consciously ask yourself the question, or in exactly those words. But every choice you make is, at its essence, an answer to that question: “Do I want to live my joyfully or sorrowfully?”

Or for many, the choice appears to be somewhere in between. Neither all good, nor all bad–just mediocre.

You did not come to this lifetime to live a mediocre life. When you relax and remember your joy, you connect fully with your soul.

And when you make the choice to remember your joy more and more often, guess what happens?

You become more and more joyful, regardless of the circumstances in the world around you.

And the more joyful you are, the more successful you will be. The more of what you want in your life the Universe will bring to you.

In your persistent and passionate practice of joyful thoughts, you can truly create heaven on earth.

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