Why Am I Always the Caretaker? by John Cali

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Last weekend I had a troubling interaction with someone I care deeply about. It left me with sad feelings, something I rarely experience at this point in my life.

John Cali

The details are not important. What was important were my feelings. Because of our work, people often come not only to Spirit, but also to me personally (apart from Spirit), for advice and guidance. Which I gladly give, sometimes spending hours at it.

That weekend, I took a long look at my feelings. My gut reaction was “Why am I always the caretaker? Why can’t someone take care of me once in a while?”

That really got my attention! I know, from all the years of doing this work, many of you have also asked those two questions.

However, it didn’t take me but a few minutes to remember being a caretaker is what I’d signed on for when, many years ago, I chose to do this work with Spirit. It’s my life’s work (and play), and I love it!

The downside, from my human perspective, is people sometimes see me as the wise sage with all the answers. Like all of you, I have access to answers. But I don’t have instant answers for everyone who comes to me.

The best I can do is what Spirit almost always does — tell folks the real answers for them are always within them. And help them access those answers.

Here’s Spirit.


Being a caretaker — what does that mean to you?

Often, for many humans, it means always putting others before themselves. Even to the point of doing something they know is wrong for them.

Most of you have been in this situation at one time or another, and probably often. You know — that feeling you get when you just cannot say “No,” even if it means going against your inner guidance.

Think about the last time you were in this situation.

What caused you to give in, perhaps to do for someone else what they really should be doing for themselves?

Often it’s pressure from your society, usually taking this form: “Your first duty is to your family — country — church — friends, etc. etc. ad nauseam. You fill in the blanks.

This is manipulation, pure and simple. The societal and cultural roots of that manipulation go back over many centuries. But the real point is you are being manipulated. Often, if not mostly, you allow it to happen.

Friends, your first duty as a caretaker is to take care of yourselves first and always. Then you don’t need someone to take care of you, as John momentarily thought he did last weekend.

The best gift you can give to humanity is to be happy. Because then you are in the best possible position to be the best possible caretakers for your sisters and brothers on the planet.

Sometimes, as with John last weekend, you might feel drained and tired by it all. But that almost always happens when you give too much to others without giving enough to yourselves.

You are all caretakers for each other. But before you can be a loving, compassionate caretaker for others, you must first and always be a loving, compassionate caretaker for yourselves.

You come first. Then you will best serve others

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