One of our readers sent us several excellent follow-up questions in response to last week’s article, “Perspectives on Pain.” If you missed that article you’ll find it here.
Following is our friend’s email, slightly edited. She’s given me permission to use her name and email address, should anyone wish to contact her. Her first name is Sam, and here’s her email address.
Ahh, John, I certainly sympathize with your friend. I don’t know what her pain issue is, but I do know a bit about pain, so I wish and pray for her for whatever needs to be healed.
And that brings me to a question, well, more than one.
First, when the body hurts, is it always the body that needs healing? In other words, what’s crying out for healing?
The next question is related: if it’s deeper than bodily pain, how do we determine what healing the soul (for that’s what it seems it must be) needs?
Finally, is it possible for pain to be “absorbed” from those around us, for those who are highly sensitive people like me? I’ve always tended to be most relaxed and at peace when I’m alone, not around crowds or even other people that I may love. I can be in these conditions but I always need to be alone to “recharge.”
I think Spirit answered this question at one time in some way and suggested that our pain is always ours, but I’m not so sure. Might he rethink that answer?
In the meantime, I keep searching for the answer to what needs healing but I don’t know where to turn after decades of looking. But I keep looking.
P.S. Sam also sent several follow-up questions in a separate email. In keeping with our policy of making these newsletters as brief as possible, we’ll address her other questions in another newsletter. This one is long enough as it is.
Here are Spirit’s responses to Sam’s questions for today.
We’ll take Sam’s questions in the order she asked them.
“First, when the body hurts, is it always the body that needs healing? In other words, what’s crying out for healing?”
It is NEVER only the body that needs healing. More on that next.
“The next question is related: if it’s deeper than bodily pain, how do we determine what healing the soul (for that’s what it seems it must be) needs?”
It is NEVER the soul that needs healing. What always needs healing, when your body is dis-eased or in pain, is your perception that your body and your soul are separate. It’s always about the illusion of separation.
When you are fully “in the flow,” as you say — fully aligned with your souls, suffering is impossible. You can experience physical pain without suffering, especially if you take the perspective we talked about last week.
(Spirit is referring to this part of last week’s message:
“When you are in physical pain it always means every cell in the painful part of your body is asking your Source for healing. Shift your perspective of pain from what it seems to be — a disaster or, at best, a bloody nuisance — to what it REALLY is. For what it really is is a powerful reassurance to you that your body knows what it’s doing. It knows how to heal itself.”)
“Finally, is it possible for pain to be ‘absorbed’ from those around us, for those who are highly sensitive people like me? I’ve always tended to be most relaxed and at peace when I’m alone, not around crowds or even other people that I may love. I can be in these conditions but I always need to be alone to ‘recharge.'”
It certainly is possible for “pain to be absorbed,” in Sam’s words, from people around you.
But this is not something forced upon you as if you were a “victim.” You choose, deliberately or by default, to take on the pain of another. If, as with Sam, you need to be alone to “recharge,” then by all means be alone. But never believe you must take on another’s pain.
We’ve said this many times before, but we’ll say it again today:
We are not saying you should not be concerned with the pain and suffering of others, especially those you love. (And that includes yourself.) But you do no one, including yourself, any good by walking into their pain with them.
The best thing you can say to someone who is suffering goes something like this:
“I love you. I am always here for you. But I will not, I cannot, walk into your pain with you. The best way I can help you is to remain pain-free. Then from that place I can best help you to also become pain-free.”
Much of the suffering many humans endure is because they do walk into the pain of others. And then, on top of that, they immerse themselves in their own pain. Then you have what you sometimes describe as a “double whammy.”
It’s almost as if you were taught (and, really, you were) that pain is a virtue — to suffer is a virtue — to sacrifice is noble and good.
All of that is complete nonsense!
Your higher self, your soul never intended you to suffer. Yes, there are certainly many experiences you all have which hold the potential for much pain. But — and this is a big BUT — it is possible for you to move through those experiences without suffering.
You live in a world of vast diversity. And that is as it should be. You, as your soul, chose to incarnate into this world of diversity. And you were, and are, free to choose whatever you want from the banquet table of life. Life offers you many choices, suffering being one of them.
Your suffering does not come from your outer circumstances, but from your reaction to those circumstances. That reaction, whatever it may be, you are free to choose — or to change — at any moment.
Life is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good. The only purpose to suffering is to remember you don’t have to suffer.
Life is good. Seek and find the joy in all your experiences, whether you see them as painful or not. The good and the joy are always there. But you have to look for them.
And don’t beat up on yourself if you do find you are in pain and suffering. Just know it will pass. And you will move on to your destiny.
Your destiny is to be happy, to be joyful, to find your way home again.
And you will find your way home again. For all paths lead home.