The Secret to Controlling Other People by John Cali

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In Spirit’s and my work with others, in private readings, and in informal conversations, one of the major issues coming up for many folks is other people’s opinions of them. They get upset by choices others make. We see so much anguish, frustration, and pain over this issue.

John Cali

People tell us they could be happy if only the others in their lives would do what they want them to. What they are really asking us is: “What is the secret to controlling other people?”

Does that sound familiar to you?

Here’s Spirit.


John was a bit sly in choosing today’s title. There is no secret to controlling other people. You cannot do it. Many of your world’s woes are rooted in the belief you can and should control others.

The real secret is you do not need to control others.

As John said in his introduction, many folks tell us they could be happy if it were not for everybody else in their lives doing as they please. That is precisely what all of you should be doing — exactly what you please, what feels good to you.

You all have free will. The basis of your existence in this lifetime is freedom. It’s never been otherwise.

You are sabotaging yourselves, “sinking your own ship,” if you will, by making your happiness, your peace of mind dependent on the choices others make in their lives.

That’s a sure prescription for disaster or, at the very least, for a dreary depressing life.

Neither your souls, nor God (whatever you perceive God to be) ever intended you to control others, but only to control yourselves. Your happiness depends only on the thoughts you think, the choices you make. Period!

You are all powerful beings. You are God. Do you think God cares what people are doing with their lives? After all, they’re free to do as they please.

God does not care. Neither should you. Tend your own garden, not your neighbor’s. Only then will you find the happiness, peace, joy, and love you seek.


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