Expectations Revisited by John Cali

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You’ve probably heard it said you get what you expect. Do you really believe that? Many people I know don’t. Yet they always do get what they expect.

John Cali

We’ve talked about expectations in two earlier articles, one on July 8, 2008 and the other October 7, 2008. But I thought it time to revisit expectations since it’s a subject riddled with fear and negativity. I was reminded of this when I went for a haircut recently at Frank’s Barber Shop.

Frank was his usual bubbly self, cracking jokes and, with his twinkling eye, casting joy among all those in his shop.

The customer in the chair began talking about aging, nursing homes, debilitating diseases, and other depressing stuff about getting older.

Frank said he’d never go to a nursing home or ever agree to anyone taking care of him.

Mind you, Frank is 75 years old. Yet, unlike so many in his generation, he’s perfectly healthy and fit. He still lifts weights and jogs. He looks a good 25 or more years younger than he is.

The customer, obviously much younger than Frank said, “Well, if you live into your 90s (a good possibility for Frank), I expect you’re going to need someone to take care of you.”

Frank’s reply: “Never!”

What was going on here?

The customer was simply stating the facts (or so it seemed). After all, most people in their 90s do need someone to take care of them. But not everyone in their 90s does.

I know two men here in Cody, Wyoming, both in their 90s. They still walk around unassisted, drive their own cars, are physically active and mentally sharp, participate in community affairs, and have wives also in their 90s.

Frank’s customer was talking about statistics. Numbers signifying nothing — unless you expect to be one of those statistics. Frank obviously doesn’t.

Here’s Spirit.


One of your writers once said “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be . . . .” (Spirit is referring to Robert Browning, an English poet who lived in the 1800s.)

Yet that is not the way it is for many of you. You grow old and it turns out to be the worst, or at least not particularly good.

There is no universal law, never was, that says as you move through the years your bodies must fall apart.

Yet that’s what happens with so many of you. Aging — moving through the years — has absolutely nothing to do with your bodies deteriorating. John gave three prime examples of that — Frank and the two friends in their 90s.

So what’s the difference between those three men and all the others populating your nursing homes, assisted-living facilities, and hospitals?

In a word — attitude. Or expectations.

The mass consciousness, illustrated beautifully by Frank’s negative customer, is “You ain’t gonna make it into your 90s (if you even get that far) without someone to watch over you.”

That’s certainly an accurate observation if you look at and believe your statistics. But as John said, statistics are only numbers signifying nothing. Unless you expect to become one of them.

If you do expect that, fearing there’s no way you can escape that “fate,” that’s the reality you’ll create for yourselves.

We have a lot of fun observing you humans. We have the greatest love and respect for all of you, but it really is amusing for us to watch you sometimes.

John said you always get what you expect. We agree, with these additional comments:

You often expect “bad” experiences. So If you expect and believe age equals physical deterioration, that will be your experience. You don’t, after all, question or doubt statistics — they are the gospel of your modern world.

But when you expect good experiences, often you sabotage those good expectations. How?

Well, for starters, by feeling undeserving, by believing in limitation, and so on. So your “good” expectations turn sour and become “bad” expectations. Those expectations then become your reality — which, remember, you created.

There is more to this subject than we have time for today. But remember this, friends, if you remember nothing else we’ve said here today:

You deserve to live lives filled to overflowing with love, joy, abundance, and all else you have ever wanted or dreamed for yourselves. You deserve it all!

Expect it. Believe it. And it will be yours.

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