Are You Complete? by John Cali

posted in: Blog, channeling | 6

Many years ago a young lady (I’ll call her “Karen”) wrote me because she was deeply concerned about her mother’s well-being.

The mother was single, and Karen desperately wanted her to find a romantic partner and “live happily ever after.” But she didn’t know what she could do to help her mom.

Karen said she’d been anxiously worrying and fearing the worst. The worst being, in Karen’s view, that her mother would live out the rest of her life with no man. As she put it, her mom “needs a man to complete her.”

I cringed when I read that. Why did an otherwise bright and spiritually-minded young lady like Karen believe we need other people to be complete?

Here’s what Spirit has to say:

“How do you see yourself? In your own eyes, are you loving and kind? Are you sexy? Are you bright and beautiful? Would you want you as your best friend? As your perfect lover?

“If you can truthfully answer “Yes,” you are in the perfect position to draw to yourself your perfect partner. Why? Because you are literally head-over-heels in love with yourself.

“If you are head-over-heels in love with you, you don’t need another, do you? That brings us to our next point.

“Today many relationships, and probably most romantic relationships, start from a place of need. A place of feeling you, by yourself, are not enough.

“But you are enough, all by yourself. You are complete, all by yourself. If you’re looking for another to complete you, the relationship is doomed from the beginning.

“So know you are completely complete without another. Then you will attract your soulmate.”


What about you? Are you complete without a romantic partner? Do you need other people to be fully who you are? Please comment below.

6 Responses

  1. Shirl

    The perfect answer to this very prevalent thought pattern. I see it and hear it all the time from those I speak and counsel with. I was there once upon a time myself.

    Then I gave myself the time (9 years) to be alone and truly discover who I am and to work on an even more complete version of me. It has been the greatest gift I ever gave myself. So as I spent those years in learning and growth and no concern of ever having a partner again. . .the universe delivered me a wonderful partner and a brand new version of life. I was not looking for either. I was very happy with my life and times in small town Idaho and my interactions with those of spiritual family that I had surrounded myself and my life with. I had not imagined I could or would be even happier.

    A new partner, a move to a new place and home, new friends and family. . .at 67 years of an already full life? I was as surprised as anyone else. . .maybe more so. So yes, even though I had been a serial monogamous person and until I gave myself those 9 years of solitude and self discovery I had never been without a partner for very long since I was 21. And I was very fulfilled and happy without a partner during that wonderful time of finding myself and even “better” versions of me. I was certainly content with the thought that I really didn’t need anyone in my life in that way again.

    Imagine my absolute surprise when seemingly out of the blue this person came to my life and was determined to change my mind. I was a little cautious because I was truly so happy living alone and doing as I had been for those 9 years. But here I am 3 1/2 years later in a wonderful relationship, the best I’ve ever had and surrounded by a whole new community of friends and acquaintances and family. . .having the time of my life in an astonishingly beautiful setting of wide open spaces and wondrous opportunity.

    The Universe (Source) provides us everything we need and blessings beyond our wildest dreams in miraculous ways.

    I am still the most blessed being in the Universe!

    And so are you, each of you. Just reach out your arms and encompass all that is there for you.

    Love and Blessings

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Shirl, for sharing so beautifully. As you said, the Universe provides us all we need, if we simply get out of the way.


  2. John Cali

    Thank you, Jeannie! Beautiful comment!

  3. Berna

    Heard yesterdaynight at the theater by the cabaret artist/comedian:
    bla bla bla and then: “, but don’t you love yourself?”
    “Yes, but it’s not mutual”….

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Berna. I love this one!

  4. Jeannie

    It is odd that I never felt complete when I was married. I was the perfect wife and mother, I worked as I was bringing up my son. I did everything that was required of me to do except be myself. Do I need someone to complete me, no I just need to get to know all the person I am . After learning who I am I will be able to allow somone else in as they are. I won’t need them to be a perfect anything.

    love and hugs

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