The Simplest Way to Make the Best of Other People’s Opinions

posted in: Blog, channeling, relationships | 14

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. ~ Albert Einstein

always trust yourself above other people's opinionsTrusting Yourself Is Always a Good Start

I still remember the time, years ago, when I got my first “hate mail.” It almost literally knocked the breath out of me. I wondered how anyone could hate this work I do that much.

Since then, of course, I’ve gotten a lot more. But it no longer bothers me. I don’t even read most of it. And I never respond. As we all know, what we resist only grows larger.

To take this another step “closer to home,” some of my family also hate what I do. I was reminded of this in a recent conversation I had with a family member. At least they don’t send me hate mail.  🙂  But they do take every opportunity to start an argument with me about it.

I’ve learned over time to simply refuse to discuss certain topics with them. For one, my work. For others, politics and religion.

I would love to discuss anything with them, including politics, religion, and my work—IF they were open-minded. But they are not, the do not listen, and are interested only in converting me to their way of thinking.

Besides, I have little interest in politics, and am not well-informed about it. I am well-informed about religion since I studied theology over eight years, and nearly became a Roman Catholic priest.

As I said to that family member above, “Republican”—“Democrat”—“Catholic”—Muslim—“liberal”—“conservative,” etc., etc. are just labels. I don’t label myself. I am none of those. Labels only separate and alienate us from each other.

Former US Senator Al Simpson lives here in this little mountain town. An interviewer once asked him what he thought of other politicians. He went on a mini-tirade against the hypocrisy and cruelty of some politicians. As is his way, he’s very honest and plain-spoken.

After all, he said, “We’re all God’s children.”


My spirit guides often recommend a sort of mantra for all of us: “I am my  own highest authority. There is no greater authority than my own inner voice.”


How do you handle close-minded people who disagree with you, especially if you’re close to them?

Please share your thoughts with us below.


Copyright © 2016 by John Cali

If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please forward it to them with a personal note.


People’s Opinion of You Is None of Your Business is delightful discussion by Esther Hicks and Abraham.


Related posts:

We’re All God’s Children
Other People’s Opinions
Does It Matter What Other People Say or Think About You?


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.


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About John Cali

Writer and publisher John Cali, author of 10 books, talks to ghosts and dead people. He writes about these adventures at his blog and website, and in his upcoming book, Conversations with Spirit, Book 1: Real Answers To Life’s Pesky Questions.

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14 Responses

  1. George Ball

    My primary use of conversation is to express kindness and appreciation. Opinions have very little meaning to me compared to kindness.

  2. jean

    I cannot understand anyone sending you hate mail. You are the epiphany of love, joy and happiness.

    People that hate has nothing to do with the person they hate. It is something inside themselves they are afraid of. Fear in many ways can lead us to a wider understanding of ourselves if we bother to take a look at it. All we can do is smile and in our thoughts and imagination off them our love, acknowledge it isn’t you and let it go. Don’t dwell on it and take it into yourself.

    For all those who say they hate you and what you do there are thousands that love you and your work. I am one of them.

    lots of love and hugs

    • John Cali

      Well, I don’t understand it either, Jeannie. They obviously are seeing the world through a different lens. As you said, their perceptions have much to do with themselves, and nothing to do with the targets of their hate.

      Thanks so much for your kind words. I know I have many more supporters than detractors.

      Lots of love and hugs to you too, my dear,

  3. Roy

    Hello John
    I like the quote I saw the other day, which seems to sum this up nicely.

    Never waste your time trying explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. 🙂

  4. Blessed B

    I usually don’t mention my beliefs when I first meet people. If after talking with them for some time and the subject comes up….religious or political…I sort of feel them out and find out how open minded they are before I give them my thoughts on such subjects.

    My family and I don’t talk politics cuz we don’t see eye to eye on that subject. I’m kinda the black sheep of the family when it comes to religious beliefs too….so I don’t say much on this subject either….

    Best just to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself and keep the peace!

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Noralee. I do the same thing. It saves a lot of potential misunderstandings. As Roy said in his earlier quote, “Never waste your time trying explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”

      I know that feeling of being the black sheep. 🙂

  5. stephanie

    I go to the gym daily .. and sometimes people want to ‘talk’ politics or religion. I just look them in the eye and say .. “nothing you say will change my mind and nothing I might say will change your mind … so why go there?” I then turn around and move to another piece of equipment.
    So far .. it has worked well.
    One gentleman kept following me telling me we are all sinners, etc. I looked at him and said …’Jerry,if you are happy with your beliefs … that’s wonderful … because I am VERY happy with my beliefs.” .. He then looked at me and said .. ‘who says I’m happy with my beliefs?” I had to keep from laughing out loud .. and saying “point taken.”

  6. Rafa

    thx for article.
    yes even i don’t discuss my spiritual opinions with everyone. i sort of gauge if someone is open or not and based on that discuss or don’t.
    Since even though i know this way works for me its another perspective of mine too.
    i have fun discussing with people who are open minded.

    • John Cali

      You’re most welcome.

      Thanks for your comments, Rafa. I take the same approach you do. It’s fun discussing anything with someone who’s open-minded, even if we don’t agree with each other.

  7. deborah hendry

    As usual this is lovely Infinite Thanks John- your work and your presence are completely respected You are much appreciated and loved Blessings xx

    • John Cali

      Thanks so much, Deborah, for your kindness. You also are appreciated and loved.

      Peace and blessings,

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