Alone by John Cali

How comfortable are you when you’re alone? If you’re like a lot of folks, you probably avoid being alone as much as possible.

Then there are those who actually enjoy being alone. I’m one of them. I love people, but I also need my “alone time.” And I’m never bored or lonely.

Here’s a great video with some practical tips on how to be alone, and the benefits of alone time.

Here’s Spirit.

All humans need “alone time,” to use John’s phrase. But relatively few of you ever get it. Or, more importantly, ever see the benefits of it.

Let us say this at the outset: It is good for you to be alone.

We are not saying to become a recluse, or to go off and live the rest of your life in a cave.

We are saying you all need to get to know yourselves better, to remember who you are. You cannot do that if you are constantly surrounded by other people, or by the many distractions of your world.

Other people and your modern world offer you many benefits, and they can contribute to your personal and spiritual growth.

The danger is — and many of you have experienced this (though you may not be fully aware of it) — you begin to define yourselves by the people you know, the possessions you own, your bank accounts, etc.

Friends, possessions, money, etc. are not bad. But they can be, and often are, limiting because you literally lose your self in them. The only way to regain that lost self is to spend time alone.

Your alone time can take many forms, as that video John included here shows you. The form is not important. But it is important that you take time regularly to simply be by yourself, to learn to love and appreciate yourself.

When you are totally comfortable being alone you will be empowered to be fully present to others. You will more fully know who you are. You will more fully love that self you are. You will come to more fully know, appreciate, and love other people, all that is.

It is only in your “aloneness” you will come to know your deep connectedness with all creation. In knowing that connectedness, in immersing yourselves in it, you will never again be lonely — whether you are physically alone or not.


Do you enjoy being alone? Or do you need to be with others most of the time? Please comment below.

12 Responses

  1. Eddy

    Is there anything that can really be done while not being alone? Even if people are all around us, aloneness is the only space where we are really at. We may play, eat, sing, walk, dance or do anything with somebody else yet in our own personal being we are all alone.

    Whether we are happy, sad, joyful, or ecstatic… it’s all taking place in our aloneness. And it’s a place where no one else can ever be in with no matter what. It’s probably why the ancient mystics had always stayed silent about their inner journeys… how can someone else share in one’s aloneness?

    It may seem odd to most people but this is how I truly feel and I’m loving it day by day. Yes, the world would be more beautiful indeed with more crazy folks like us. 🙂

  2. Shirl

    Alone is one of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself! In my youth I was a serial monogamous relationship person. So basically I never took any space of time for myself to just be me. . .alone. . .

    The thing that I know about alone is that I am never alone, alone. Those alone hours are mine to connect more deeply with self and all those wonderful higher vibrational beings that I so enjoy and who are so amazingly helpful to me. It’s the space where miracles reside and endless possibilities present themselves. I love my “alone time” and would never consider relinquishing it again for any reason.

    When you love yourself your own company is very much something you enjoy. Always discovering the ONE you are BECOMING. Loving yourself ultimately brings you to the joy of loving everyone else and everything and that is the exponential aspect that fills you with more and more love that then flows out to the all of creation and existence. And then you truly know that LOVE IS ALL THERE IS!

    Honor the alone time you gift yourself and encourage others to give themselves this awesome gift.

    Blessings, love and hugs

    • John Cali

      Thanks so much, Shirl, for your wise comments and perspective. If more folks could see their lives as you do, we’d have a much happier population. 🙂

      Love & hugs,

  3. Lisa

    Hi John and Spirit

    I am SO relieved you have brought up this topic!! All my life,I have been outgoing,social,seem’s everyone always came to our house,This was when we lived in the city.

    8 years ago,we moved way out into the country,where everyone is 5-20 acres apart,When we 1st moved here,I missed the social interactions daily….Then about 4 years ago when my kids were mid teens,they would say anything and usually knew where and how to push my buttons,many arguements,and Kids don’t stop and think!! So many things they said went through my heart like a dagger!!

    Eventually,my Dr said I was depressed, As usual they put you on antidepressants which also have side effects,at that time,I was usually going to the school for activities,running my kids back and forth until they started driving.

    But to avoid many confrontations,I just went to my room,read,got on the computer,etc…

    I have learned alot,researching depression,over the past couple of years after learning how to meditate,I found myself really enjoying it,and researching,learning Channelling.

    Now,I would rather be alone doing mediations and reading,etc…than going out socializing. Also learning to cope with depression,staying positive,etc.. taking baby steps.

    And once I get over the hump of the depression,picking myself back up,which I have been doing,then I will go out when I want or need too….I went from always on the go all my life to loving being at home alone,going within and learning more and more about myself hat I never realized before!!

    Love and Hugs to you both!!

  4. Roy

    Alone time is the time when the world becomes peaceful and one can just enjoy its beauty.

    Early morning is a time I really enjoy, thankfully the rest of my family doesn’t (usually) rise till after I have had some quiet time.

    If I get the chance I will spend a quiet half hour at lunch time in a park or by the lake and I notice that if I have been unable to enjoy some alone/quiet time for a few days, I feel jittery.

    The world is a far more beautiful place and makes much more sense, once I have enjoyed alone time.

  5. Dianna

    I too love being alone. I dance all day and just enjoy myself.
    Sometimes I’m enjoying myself so much when my husband
    comes home from work I can’t figure out why he’s here. He is
    one of those that needs constant attention.
    I do enjoy being with my daughters and grand kids.
    Love the video. I must admit I do a lot of visualization and fantasizing.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Dianna. It’s nice to know there are so many “crazy” folks like you and me out there. 🙂

  6. Toni

    I’m so glad to read this, John. I thought there was something wrong with me, because I love being alone. I have 2 beautiful children who have wonderful spouses, and they’ve given me 5 precious grandchildren. I work a few days a week and can lay on the couch for a few minutes when I come home. I jitterbug with the wall when I hear a golden oldie. I play the piano. I read or watch TV. I have a huge family and many friends. We communicate by phone or e-mail and get together several times during the year. I am alone, but I am never lonely. I truly love my life, and feel better knowing I’m “normal.”

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Toni, for your wise perspective. If we could all achieve that balance you have — loving our alone time and loving being with our loved ones too — what wonderful world this would be.

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