Forgetfulness by John Cali

Dr. Bernie Siegel tells a wonderful story about his marriage. Years ago he fell off his roof, hitting his head on the pavement. He developed amnesia from the injury. He said the amnesia dramatically improved his marriage with his wife Bobbie. But when his memory returned, he sought marriage counseling.

Fascinating story! After I thought about it, I realized what Bernie’s underlying message was. If we simply forget (or, in this case, cannot remember) all our past baggage, our relationships automatically improve.

Here’s what Spirit has to say:

“Let’s begin today with what might seem a startling statement:

There is never a need or reason to forgive another person. That’s not your job.

“True forgiveness is forgetting — forgetting the pain, the anger, the sadness — and remembering the love.

“Forgiveness is really about letting go of the pain you’re holding onto. And whatever that pain is, you — not the other person — created it. The pain is self-inflicted. Always, no exceptions.

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with you, and only you. Letting go of the past — literally forgetting it — is the only way to heal.

“Healing really has little to do with forgiving. In forgiving you’re still lingering in your past pain. In forgiving someone, you’re still focusing on the hurt they supposedly created in your life. And that gets you nowhere. You need to take one further step — and that is to forget.

“Forgetfulness can be a very good thing.”

Please give us your thoughts below.

John Cali’s Spirit Speaks Newsletter

5 Responses

  1. Anonymous

    Forgiveness comes when an event was simply an event. When the event no longer carries any judgment for you. In order to eliminate "negative influences" stop judging them to be negative.


  2. John Cali

    As a postscript to my previous comment, I'm reminded of a quotation from Lao-tzu:

    "In order to eliminate the negative influences, simply ignore them."


  3. John Cali

    Well, as I said to someone earlier today, the old memories that don't serve you may still be there. But they have power over you only if you give them your attention. Ignore them, and they are rendered powerless.

    It's the same with anything you do not want in your life. If you refuse to give it your focus, it will simply fade away. As I understand it, that's how the Law of Attraction works.


  4. Chris~

    Hmmm … much as I'd love to forget certain things, aside from a knock on the head, I don't know how to do it. How exactly does one erase anything from one's memory? The things that I have forgotten are mostly those events that weren't meaningful to me. I remember really good times that made my heart sing, so to speak. At the same time I remember experiences that were very painful. I would be happy to forget the pain parts. Wish Spirit could give some practical tips.

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