Dr. Bernie Siegel tells a wonderful story about his marriage. Years ago he fell off his roof, hitting his head on the pavement. He developed amnesia from the injury. He said the amnesia dramatically improved his marriage with his wife Bobbie. But when his memory returned, he sought marriage counseling.

Fascinating story! After I thought about it, I realized what Bernie’s underlying message was. If we simply forget (or, in this case, cannot remember) all our past baggage, our relationships automatically improve.

Here’s what Spirit has to say:

“Let’s begin today with what might seem a startling statement:

There is never a need or reason to forgive another person. That’s not your job.

“True forgiveness is forgetting — forgetting the pain, the anger, the sadness — and remembering the love.

“Forgiveness is really about letting go of the pain you’re holding onto. And whatever that pain is, you — not the other person — created it. The pain is self-inflicted. Always, no exceptions.

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with you, and only you. Letting go of the past — literally forgetting it — is the only way to heal.

“Healing really has little to do with forgiving. In forgiving you’re still lingering in your past pain. In forgiving someone, you’re still focusing on the hurt they supposedly created in your life. And that gets you nowhere. You need to take one further step — and that is to forget.

“Forgetfulness can be a very good thing.”

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