Almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ~ Steve Jobs 1955–2011
Life, Death, and Beyond
I want to thank all of you who read and commented on our last post about Wayne’s passing. Also, thanks to those of you who contacted me privately. All your comments were thoughtful and kind, and I appreciate it.
Several folks wondered about the “cause” of Wayne’s death. (His Facebook page said the cause was a heart attack.)
But that’s a common question, isn’t it? When someone dies, the first thing we usually ask is, “How?”
This reminds me of a discussion about life and death a friend and I had long ago. He said “We all have to die of ‘something.'”
But do we, really?
It’s true, most people die of “something.” But I believe we can die of “nothing.” We can die simply because we consciously choose to leave. We’ve done all we intended to do in this lifetime.
Impossible? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
My spirit guides say every death is a suicide. The reason? Because, at some level of our awareness, we choose the time and manner of our death.
That choice can be a fully, deliberately conscious one. We do not need the “excuse” of an “accident, illness, etc.
There are stories—you’ve probably heard some of them—of indigenous people who, when their time came, simply sat down in their lodging or under a tree, closed their eyes, and were gone. There was no apparent “cause.”
The great Nez Perce Chief Joseph died sitting at his campfire on September 21, 1904.
Here are two other examples I’m familiar with.
First, in an interview long ago, Dr. Deepak Chopra talked about his father’s death. The elder Chopra, also a doctor, was 82 when he died. He was active till the night of his death. In fact, he had seen patients earlier that day.
Here’s part of that interview, with Deepak speaking:
In my father’s entire lifetime I never once saw him sick or emotionally upset. He was the most patient and kind person….
(The night of his death) he woke up my mother and said, “Wake up. Wake up. I’m leaving now.” He said that twice, closed his eyes, and was gone.
There was no discomfort, no shortness of breath; he died as elegantly as he had lived. And he went with joy.
We celebrated his death because we knew he went exactly the way he wanted to go….He lived like a saint and he died like one. In India we call death “The Big Meditation.”
Second, my own mother, Mary, died in a similar way. She was approaching 90 years, in pretty good health, and still leading an active and happy life. She always said she did not want to linger and die in a hospital.
She didn’t. On July 17, 1988, she lay down on her bed at home, closed her eyes, and left, quickly and painlessly.
She had a beautiful life and a beautiful death. Her funeral was a happy, joyful event—a typical Italian funeral. We celebrated her life and all the love she brought into so many people’s lives. She was and is one of my greatest inspirations.
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What do you think? Is death to be feared? (My spirit guides say dying is the easiest thing we will ever do.) Can we die at the time and in the manner of our choosing?
Please share your thoughts with us below.
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Copyright © 2015 by John Cali
If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please forward it to them with a personal note.
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This is one of the most powerful videos I’ve seen in a while. Its title, Most People Die Before Age 25, ought to get your attention. It got mine. We may choose, one way or another, when and how we die. But have we really lived?
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Related posts:
Is Life ALWAYS worth living?
Fear, Death, and Immortality
The Scent of Roses
Cold-Blooded Murder
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What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.
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About John Cali
Writer and publisher John Cali, author of 10 books, talks to ghosts and dead people. He writes about these adventures at his blog and website, and in his upcoming book, Conversations with Spirit: Real Answers To Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1.
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Thank you, John, for sharing this. I believe as you’ve mentioned that there are those of us that choose to leave and die quietly. I’m reminded of a Native American, Grandfather, in the Tom Brown Jr. books that when he chose to die he just left and walked into the sunset.
I think we can also pop in and out and come back after we’ve recharged a little or received more guidance. This truly is an amazing world and we’ve only scratched the surface of possibilities.
You’re most welcome, Pat. I remember that story from Tom Brown’s books. I really believe that’s basically what Wayne did. He’d been cured of leukemia, and was apparently healthy. He just left in his sleep.
Seth talks about popping in and out. He said we all do it. We’re just not usually aware of it. It really is an amazing world and time we live in!
It truly is, John, an amazing world. Thank you for adding your part to it.
Thanks so much, Pat!
I believe tha there is some confusion re. the topic of our deaths being a form of suicide. Mikala´s post, for me, comes closest to describing our situation.
As I see it most of us have no idea what our consciousness is. It is more than a simple awareness, what we call a conscious awareness. Tom Campbell describes it as the small C consciousness and the large C Consciouness. The first has the perspective of this lifetime and the second is a total of all our lifetimes´ information, the small picture and the large picture. This also means that in this lifetime and as long as our focus is solely (no pun intended) on it there can be accidents. Life is probabilistic. An accident, could be disease, means very little from the larger perspective. It is the contrast spoken about in the law of attraction materials and is necessary for evolution, for expansion. It can be necessary and serves as a warning bell sometimes and as an incentive provider to expand how we deal with life experiences. Sometimes this wisdom is experienced and sometimes it is not. We are all different and at different stages of this evolution and that too is absolutely necessary due to the need for productivity. It works best here on this planet and that is why it is the wayit is. Best does not imply easy.
In order to understand all of this in a logical and verifiable manner it is necessary to accept two assumptions and only two. The first is that consciousness exists and the second is that evolution exists. The rest simply falls into place and answers all questions. I have tremendous gratitude for the lifelong work of Tom Campbell. He marries both sides of this question in an open-minded and skeptical manner. Thank you John for bringing this subject to our attention.
Thank you, Ron, for your comments.
Yes, John, I have read the same thoughts you wrote about. That we have contracts and the time and way in which we pass is preplanned. Also, that we can die when we feel our usfulness to “the tribe” is over, by just asking to be released. The latter seems such a graceful way to leave, to me, rather than extreme measures to stay here regardless of how bad your health is or the burden to others–financially and physically. Many tell us it is a time to celebrate, like a graduation… Even so, the person gone is very much missed in the physical plane–usually anyway. Gail
I agree, Gail, we miss their physical presence. Yet it truly is a time to celebrate their “rebirth.”
Hi John, I read your first post also and I too felt emotion at the news of his passing. I admit I wondered about the cause and when there was no explaination I immediately thought he ascended out of his body. I agree with you and Spirit. I always tell my husband that I am going to ascend out of my body in my sleep.That is the way I think most people would choose to go yet why doesn’t it always happen that way? Do we have to live a complete and utterly saintly life in order for us to die peacefully with no cause of dis-ease? That would make sense, if it is true? Wayne seemed to be that peace, he healed his body of leukemia, that is what I believed he did because I believe so much in our power to heal ourselves. So when I heard of his passing, I was looking for the cause of death hoping it was not from the leukemia, that was proof he healed himself(and with the help of unconventional healers) as we can.I knew he just ascended out, his soul knew he was ready to go home.I want to live my life here in a way that I too transcend my death. Do you think the way we live now has to do with the way we choose to die? (Typing from my phn so sorry if typos) Sending love,Christine
Thanks very much, Christine.
I do not believe we have to lead a “saintly life,” to use your phrase, to leave our body the way we’re talking about here. Most of us on the spiritual path, probably believe that is entirely possible. But our society does its best to convince us otherwise. I think that’s real root of most people dying the way they do. Love, John
I truly believe that all deaths are choices or the consequences of multiple choices.
Its a gift we give ourselves to help the evolution of our consciousness.
As you once elegantly put it…there are no victims…only willing participants.
Thanks very much, Sylvain. Indeed, we are all willing participants!
My aunt Ethel (my dads sister) was talking to my mother on the phone. She lived in a different city and was a lovely, caring lady. She was blind but that never stopped her from anything. While she was talking to my mom, she simply said I feel funny then silence. My mom ended up, hanging up, then calling another relative who was close by to my aunt to make sure she was alright. My uncle Jim (her husband found her on the phone, passed away. There was no pain, no suffering, she simply felt odd and left.
Seth also said all deaths were suicides. It is up to us the way we go.
I intend to live forever, ever changing, ever growing and becoming more than what I am.
There is no death, just eternal life.
love and hugs
Jeannie
Thanks very much, Jeannie, for sharing that beautiful story of your aunt’s passing. That’s the way we should all go!
I remember Seth saying that about death. And I love what you said — there is no death, just eternal life in different dimensions.
Love and hugs, John
Dear John,
My great grandmother died like that. From what I’ve heard she had been told by a fortune teller, when she was young, that she should live to be 85. In January she celebrated her 85th birthday and in April she died.
The morning of her death she was out doing some gardening. Then she went back inside, went to bed and told my uncle (who then lived with her) “go get your mother”. So he did, and when my grandmother got there my great grandmother said “Well, Ellen, now it’s time. Goodbye to you.” and then she died.
Don’t we all wish we could go like that; calm, peacefully and content.
Love,
Carin
What a beautiful story, Carin! Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
Yes, that would be my wish for all of us — to pass over calmly and peacefully. I think if more people realize it’s entirely possible, more will do it.
Love, John
I think I’m ready to die at age 80 but it doesn’t happen. So I go on using every opportunity to cheer up people I encounter. Cheer up, John!
Well, George, then you must have more work (play) to do still. Keep cheering people up! 🙂
It is not always easy to answer the questions you ask here, John. Yes, I do believe that we can choose the time and manor of our death. However, I have had a couple of “near death” occurrences in my life where I was not certain which way the situation would go. I was in a head-on car accident. When I saw the car coming at me was truly going to hit me, I was not frightened. I can’t explain that, because I was not expecting death on that day, so it would have been reasonable to have felt some kind of fear, but rather, I felt myself relax, thinking “oh xxxx they are going to hit me.” They did. But while I was relaxing, I was not fighting the idea that I would die, or could die at that moment.
The second such challenge was that of carbon monoxide poisoning, and I could feel my body giving up trying to heal itself. Again, I didn’t feel any fear knowing that I might not recover.
After both of these occurrences, I did figure out the purpose. But in answer to your question, I didn’t feel positive or negative for either living or leaving. It just didn’t matter either way. I knew I would enjoy either outcome. When I think about it, my reaction seems weird for an earthling, but if you honestly believe that both sides are simply parts of our lives, it isn’t.
If we let go of ego and the need to control, and be who we truly are, I believe that the soul is in control. In that case, when you have accomplished your purpose, the soul knows when you should move on.
Just my perspective. Sounds boring when I re-read it. grin
Love to you and blessings for your work.
Mikala
Thanks very much, Mikala, for sharing your experiences. I clearly remember both of those events, and how close you came to leaving.
I believe as you do — “life” and “death” are simply two aspects of our eternal existence. There really is no death. You don’t sound boring at all! It’s plain ol’ common sense if we see ourselves as our spirits, and God, do. 🙂
Much love to you, and thank you for your great kindness. John