Does Your Sexual Preference Really Matter? by John Cali

As most of you probably know, whether you live in the United States or not, gay marriage is currently a hotly divisive topic among Americans. Underlying that, of course, is the whole issue of homosexuality. For most of the United States’ history homosexuality was illegal.

Today we’re seeing more and more gay folks, including politicians and other public and private figures, “coming out of the closet” and admitting their sexual preferences.

In my personal opinion, this is a good thing. I have gay friends and family, and I love them as much as my “straight” family and friends.

Does your sexual preference really matter? Not to me it doesn’t.

Here are some of Spirit’s thoughts:

  • In a real sense, you are all “gay”—because you all possess masculine and feminine aspects.
  • You get into difficulties when you over-identify with one aspect and exclude the other.
  • You are free to express any and all aspects of who you are.
  • All expressions are good.
  • There is nothing wrong with any relationship—heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.
  • All sexual orientations are good and valid.
  • Love is the primary purpose of all relationships.
  • Love will heal all your wounds.
  • Love will restore you to that place where you remember who you are and why you are here.
  • Love is who you are and why you are here.
  • Love is all there is. Nothing matters more than love. Nothing.


Related links:
Sex and Saints
Sexual Energy
Sexuality and Diversity
Sexuality: Homo or Hetero?
We’re All God’s Children


Do you think gay marriage is wrong? Is homosexuality wrong? If you were looking at a gay person through the eyes of God, what would you see? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.

What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me at:

16 Responses

  1. Ed Peterson

    We choose to come into this life to experience different choices. These choices provide us with the opportunity to determine our preferences. Our preferences in turn provide new opportunities for us to make choices. And so it goes.

    This process causes the universe to expand, and so we are doing what we came here to do. Being genderless in the non-physical, we can choose either gender in each incarnation, to provide us with various choices, to create preferences. Our sexual preference is just another choice that we make, which adds to our growth and development.

    There is no right or wrong choice, there are just choices. It is only when we attempt to impose our choices on another, where issues arise (like determining that homosexuality is wrong and heterosexuality is right, because we say so or because someone in the past supposedly said so and it is recorded in some book. Of course these to are just someones choice).

    Once we look to a bigger picture of life and learn to allow all to be as it is, will we truly be free to love.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Ed, for sharing your wisdom. I love the way you clearly explain this issue from a spiritual perspective.

  2. Sarah D

    There’s been a lot of controversy here in the UK with the Church of England regarding gay marriages. To me, love is love. One of my good friends was married to a man for many, many years. When they divorced, she fell in love with a younger woman. They are still together today and are extremely happy. When we were discussing this, she said that she would never in a month of Sundays have predicted she would fall in love with another woman. They were friends but realised they had feelings for one another. She said that she fell in love with the person, not the gender and I thought that was lovely.

    Love goes beyond labels and does not judge. Love is beautiful in all its forms.

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Sarah. You said it beautifully: “Love goes beyond labels and does not judge. Love is beautiful in all its forms.”

  3. Chuck

    i was not too sure about “In a real sense, you are all “gay”—because you all possess masculine and feminine aspects”
    All masculine and feminine aspects are labels created by us. So if most females like to hang out at beach and smell the air and be joyful , then if a guy does that they say its feminine aspect. Same since guys who are good at businesses so when a woman does those things we label that its masculine energy. Which is fine.
    But that does not make us all gay. Gay is just a term we use for sexual orientation. So just cause a guy enjoys beach and woman enjoys beach that not make them gay??
    all other points are wonderful!
    I love all beings on the planet, regardless of their orientations. God bless them all. Thanks John.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Chuck. I think Spirit was just using the term “gay” to convey the fact we are all a blend of the masculine and feminine, but without getting into precise definitions and distinctions.

  4. Claire

    Hi John,
    we have the same debate actualy in France for the “Marriage for All”, with a lot of political unrest and demonstrations of religious opponents or extreme right-wing.
    I don’t read no more the articles, there are to so aggressive and homophobic comments very heavy.

    Yes, the human’s laws are far from being in accordance with the laws of Love !
    Every human being is a all, I like the concept yin / yang because only the biologic form is male or female … Jung also had the concept of animus/anima in balance in us…

    A family is a true spiritual school where we learn love and respect themselves…beyond differences in gender, age, beliefs or religions ….and that’s all ; gay or not, with one or two parents… with brothers and sisters… not always easy.

    And .. love in relationships are a challenge to all, as also say Mooji, whatever the partner

    I know within me for a long time that the Spirit said … I was so uncomfortable in my teens, to see my body force me to choose a sex … Maybe I wanted to be an angel … or avoid complications, or be such as snails 🙂

    Thank you to remember who we are

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Claire, for your thoughts and comments. Also, I appreciate the Mooji video — he’s great!

  5. Tiat

    I agree with Jenelle, love is love and in this reality, where we often judge that there is not enough love (not true), how can we argue against any expression of love? No, it matters not.

  6. Rene

    Hi John and Spirit!! Thanks for the message! Now that I’m older, understand and read other spiritual views on homosexuality that I did not have before. I think and feel gay marriage is not wrong at all. Homosexuality is normal and has been around since the beginning. The balancing act of the Universe between masculine and feminine energy (Androgynous). Born and raised in a catholic fanatic society, I once looked down and spoke ill of homosexuals. Now I have no problem with two people Loving and respecting each other regardless of their sexual preferences. Unfortunately politics has made it a hot topic for political reasons and forced others to accept it instead of allowing people to accept it along with spiritual growth. In the eyes of God-A beautiful Androgynous Soul, God is.

    • John Cali

      Hi, Rene — thanks very much! I too was raised Catholic, but now see this whole issue in pretty much the same way you do.

  7. Jenelle

    So refreshing, open, and honest.
    Love is love no matter what. Period. End of story :))))
    Love you, John!

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