Cowboys, Essential Oils, and Assumptions by John Cali


I know that’s a really weird title, but please bear with me for a moment.

My good friend Pete is a Wyoming cowboy. We’ve known each other about 20 years. Pete (not his real name) and I were chatting not long ago about a physical problem he was having. He mentioned the essential oils he’d been using to help with the problem were very effective.

Now, essential oils are not exactly a mainstream medical treatment, and I’d assumed they were used mostly by folks interested in alternative spirituality. So I was more than mildly surprised when Pete mentioned them. Even though we’d been good friends so many years, I had no idea what his spiritual beliefs and values were.

So we got to talking about spirituality. I found out, for the first time, he was deeply interested in the spiritual work I do. So we chatted about that and other related topics for a long while. It was a warm, positive, uplifting conversation.

I realized I’d been making false assumptions about Pete. After all, he’s a cowboy. Cowboys aren’t supposed to be interested in spiritual subjects. Was I ever dead wrong about that!

I also realized I’ve made other wrong assumptions about other people in my life. It was only when we became more open to each other, and talked freely, that we saw aspects of the other we never dreamed existed.

How much joy and love we deprive ourselves of when we do what I’d done with Pete so many years. My spirit guides talk often about how interconnected we all are—not just people, but all of life. But we have to pay attention.

Related posts:

A Sense of Community


Beliefs and Relationships


What about you? Have you had similar experiences?

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9 Responses

  1. Mary

    Hi John,

    I thought about you when I read this blog. For some reason when we first met, our personalities clashed, but I don’t know why. Since you are a very kind and laid back guy, I can only assume it was me! I think I was a lot more high strung those days. But when we finally really talked, we got along great. It may be years since I’ve seen you and years more if I even ever see you again, but I treasure your friendship as much as any of my nearby friends. I have learned and am still learning to see past what I think people are and that is thanks to you.

    Thanks for the great blogs and articles.



    • John Cali

      Hi Mary,

      Yes, I well remember when we met all those many years ago. The clashes weren’t just because of you. It was both of us, but we’ve grown a lot since then.

      I also treasure your friendship, and will always. Whether we see each other again in this lifetime or not, our friendship will always be special. We’ve learned a lot from each other.

      Thanks very much for your kind words — and for your friendship spanning all these many years.

      Love, John

  2. Melanie

    good food for thought. I really love the feel of your insights they are so kind and practical. It is hard sometimes to see past peoples masks.

  3. Lynn

    John, maybe we missed out on love and joy or maybe we were lucky and escaped a nightmare. Who knows!

    I know in my own personal life, the rich and famous man, that has been bullying me behind my back like a coward. I know my grandma would never want me to be with that man, ever. She has seen who that man is. The world can think he is great, she knows, he is a farce.

    It is easy to fool people, with fame and money.

  4. Kathleen

    Hi John! It’s been awhile since we connected! It has sure been a ride, hasn’t it? 🙂 Anyway, this post was so timely for me. I have recently met someone who, up until this post, I thought would NOT be spiritually inclined. If fact, I just never mentioned or steered our conversations in that direction. Now, I find that maybe I need to reasses this assumption! I can let go of the fact that he is “just” an operations manager for a widely known construction company! THANK YOU for this timely message! We can miss out on a lot by our false beliefs! Hugs from Shasta!

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Kathleen. I agree — we miss a lot with our false beliefs and assumptions.

      Big hugs,

  5. Mikala St. Germain

    I personally truly enjoyed this post. It made me laugh, but also made me think. I live in Montana – cowboy heaven, so I often hear stereotypical conversations that tend to remove the focus from the individuals.

    As I contemplated the question of similar experiences, I began to see a life pattern. I believe we were taught while very young to believe that stereotypes were real and true. Over the years as I matured I realized that they weren’t. Now that I am “older” in the senior citizen category, I seem to have lost all that I value people and see them as individuals, brothers and sisters, with stories and experiences all their own.

    I certainly had these assumptions when I was young and growing up, and as a young adult. As I grew, the assumptions concerning others diminished until they were gone. I now believe that such thinking is part of our growing cycle here on Earth. It’s all over the world, between countries, religions, individuals. Ours is the challenge to grow beyond..

    Earth 101?

    This was a really cool post. Thanks

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