Do You Know Any Emotional Vampires? by John Cali and Spirit

A vampire is “a person who habitually preys upon others, (for example)…debt collectors…who made a living from the misery of others.” ~ Mirriam-Webster Dictionary

Bela_lugosi_draculaBela Lugosi as Dracula

I have a good friend who’s always been a drain on my energy—until recently. She was a true emotional vampire.

Sally (not her real name) was not a good listener. It was obvious when I was talking to her she was not hearing me. She was too busy thinking of what she wanted to say next, and would often interrupt me.

She was also a dedicated complainer—you name it and she had something negative to say about it. It didn’t matter who or what it was—the government, her husband, other people, life in general.

As you might imagine, even a short conversation with her drained me. So I avoided her as much as I could. But it wasn’t always possible or practical.

Here’s some advice from Spirit:

Emotional vampires, as John calls them, can suck your energy, leaving you feeling limp and lost. Here are some “tricks” we’d suggest for dealing with these folks.

When you first come together with a vampire, silently say to them, in your mind, “Namaste.” Which means “The divine in me honors the divine in you.”

This will immediately establish a rapport with them you probably never had before.

Do not try to “talk over” or out-talk them. Instead listen to them. Listen with your heart wide-open. That will subtly prepare them to listen to you when you talk.

Keep both of you surrounded by a soft white light, again in your mind. That will take the edge off any potential conflict.

Be kind and compassionate, even—especially—when it’s hard.

Most people will respond to these gestures from you. You will be approaching them telepathically and touch them in deep, powerful ways no words or actions could possibly do.

Finally, be aware some people (though not many) will be beyond your reach, even using the suggestions we’ve just given you. In those cases, simply withdraw from the conversation. Do it kindly. But do it.

You may even have to withdraw from the relationship. You need to honor and love yourself above all. If other people do not honor and love you it’s because they do not honor and love themselves.

Simply wish them well. Then go on your way without them.

P.S. I’ve applied Spirit’s advice to my relationship with Sally. And guess what? She’s been magically transformed into a better listener. And she complains less than ever before in the all the years I’ve known her.


Here is Dr. Sanjay Gupta talking with Dr. Phil McGraw about dealing with emotional vampires—or what Dr. Phil calls “baiters.”

Related links:

Are You Taking on Other People’s Stuff?

Being True to Yourself

Detachment: The Road to Inner Peace


Do you know any emotional vampires? How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

Reprint our articles free

You are free to publish or syndicate any of our articles. Visit our archives to view the articles. It’s quick and easy. All we ask is that you include this statement:This article appears courtesy of John Cali and Spirit. Include a link to our website:


About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations With Spirit: Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming.Sign up for his newsletter here.

Personal readings with John and Spirit

7 Responses

  1. Pat K

    I truly HAVE had an experience with an “emotional vampire,” and Spirit and Phil are right on!~ Thanks so much for opening up this topic!

  2. Susan

    You’re timing and sujects are always very interesting to me, John! Just recently started reading David Icke’s book “Perception Deception” — plenty of vampires in it! Perhaps it’s time we really look at the history and manipulation of humanity — the Matrix,itself— and step out of the box together, as One, to create a different outcome…

    Love and blessings,

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Susan. I agree — it’s time we began acting more in oneness than in separation.

  3. Margaret

    It’s a very strong and emotive term but yes I worked for ten years very closely with someone who I grew to truly love but who who ended up draining me of my natural vitality and joy. Leaving him was one of the most difficult transitions I have had to make but I haven’t looked back since and we are now good friends
    I love Spirit’s advice. It is so helpful to have positive and uplifting ways to deal with relationship problems. Trying to see the divinity in each other but recognising when relationships grow toxic os a sure sign it’s time to move on. Sometimes we need a push! Lol

    Thanks John…you get us to face some tricky subjects with your blogs.

    Love Margaret

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Margaret, for your kind words. I’m delighted you enjoyed the blog post.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.