A vampire is “a person who habitually preys upon others, (for example)…debt collectors…who made a living from the misery of others.” ~ Mirriam-Webster Dictionary

Bela_lugosi_draculaBela Lugosi as Dracula

I have a good friend who’s always been a drain on my energy—until recently. She was a true emotional vampire.

Sally (not her real name) was not a good listener. It was obvious when I was talking to her she was not hearing me. She was too busy thinking of what she wanted to say next, and would often interrupt me.

She was also a dedicated complainer—you name it and she had something negative to say about it. It didn’t matter who or what it was—the government, her husband, other people, life in general.

As you might imagine, even a short conversation with her drained me. So I avoided her as much as I could. But it wasn’t always possible or practical.

Here’s some advice from Spirit:

Emotional vampires, as John calls them, can suck your energy, leaving you feeling limp and lost. Here are some “tricks” we’d suggest for dealing with these folks.

When you first come together with a vampire, silently say to them, in your mind, “Namaste.” Which means “The divine in me honors the divine in you.”

This will immediately establish a rapport with them you probably never had before.

Do not try to “talk over” or out-talk them. Instead listen to them. Listen with your heart wide-open. That will subtly prepare them to listen to you when you talk.

Keep both of you surrounded by a soft white light, again in your mind. That will take the edge off any potential conflict.

Be kind and compassionate, even—especially—when it’s hard.

Most people will respond to these gestures from you. You will be approaching them telepathically and touch them in deep, powerful ways no words or actions could possibly do.

Finally, be aware some people (though not many) will be beyond your reach, even using the suggestions we’ve just given you. In those cases, simply withdraw from the conversation. Do it kindly. But do it.

You may even have to withdraw from the relationship. You need to honor and love yourself above all. If other people do not honor and love you it’s because they do not honor and love themselves.

Simply wish them well. Then go on your way without them.

P.S. I’ve applied Spirit’s advice to my relationship with Sally. And guess what? She’s been magically transformed into a better listener. And she complains less than ever before in the all the years I’ve known her.


Here is Dr. Sanjay Gupta talking with Dr. Phil McGraw about dealing with emotional vampires—or what Dr. Phil calls “baiters.”

Related links:

Are You Taking on Other People’s Stuff?

Being True to Yourself

Detachment: The Road to Inner Peace


Do you know any emotional vampires? How do you deal with them? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

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About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations With Spirit: Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming.Sign up for his newsletter here.

Personal readings with John and Spirit