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One of the biggest issues plaguing many of the folks I work with is self-love—or, rather, the lack of it. Often this is rooted in past experiences of this lifetime, or even of past lives.

Compounding the problem is the fact our modern world does not always encourage or support the practice of self-love. In fact, in many ways it discourages love of self.

I personally struggled with this issue for many years when I was younger. And I know many of you have also.

And yet—we’ve been told this countless times by countless teachers—if we do not love and serve ourselves first, we cannot love and serve others well.

Here are some of Spirit’s practical suggestions we can use in learning to love ourselves more:

  • Eliminate all self-criticism and self-judgement. All of it! You deserve better than that.
  • Eliminate all thoughts that scare you. Remember, you are totally safe and secure in this present moment.
  • Be patient with yourself. You don’t have to become perfect, however you or your society define that. You are perfect—just as you are.
  • Take good care of yourself—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. You already know how to do this. So just do it.
  • In a mirror look deeply into your own eyes. Then say to yourself (and mean it!) “(Your name), I love you!” Say it several times. It takes only a few seconds, but it’s powerful. Do this every day.
  • Know you are a powerful, sovereign being. You need nothing, no one outside yourself. You are God.
  • Your most important relationship, bar none, is that relationship between you and your higher self. That relationship will ensure all your other relationships are healthy and whole.
  • Learn to love yourself and all will be well—you will be empowered to live your life fully and joyfully. It really is that simple.

Adapted from Spirit Oracle Cards by John Cali, Frederic Calendini, and Stephanie Quesada (Great Western Publishing, 2013)

Here’s Dr. Andrew Weil taking us into a powerful self-love meditation:

Related links:
Self-Esteem Revisited
Service or Selfishness?
Teach Only Selfishness


Do you struggle with self-love? Do you feel guilty when you must say “No” to someone, even if it’s needed for your own highest good? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.

What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.


About John Cali
John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions: Conversations With Spirit, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.