Who Is the Love of Your Life? by John Cali and Spirit

If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others…. If you have no compassion for yourself, then you are not capable of developing compassion for others. ~ The Dalai Lama

Let_Love_RuleCopyright © 2008 by April Sikorski

When I was about seven my mom and dad hired a piano teacher for me. Piano lessons were not on my seven-year-old mind’s to-do list. But after a while I actually started enjoying the lessons. In fact, I got pretty good at playing–or so I thought.

I’ll never forget the day some older cousins were visiting. Mom asked me to play the piano for them. When I finished, one of my cousins (an adult) said my playing was terrible. He was probably joking, but it crushed my spirit. After that I never again enjoyed playing the piano as much.

In all the years since that day, if I’m to be completely honest, I’ve too often done the same sort of put-down on myself.

How often have you put yourself down? You know the litany–I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not good-looking enough, not popular enough, etc.

The lack of love and compassion for ourselves is a sure prescription for an unhappy life. And it won’t do our other relationships much good either. Especially if we give others the power to make us feel less than we are.


We define love as the choice to see the divinity in all beings, including yourself.

Every thought of love and compassion you hold soothes and nurtures the world around you. Every thought of hatred and anger you hold contributes to the wounding of the world. You are that powerful.

We want you to be fully, consciously aware of that power. Then, we guarantee, you will be making a positive difference in your world. Sometimes you will see the results. Other times you will not.

We know some think your world today is one hell of a mess, literally. But it’s not. What you are witnessing, even in the midst of the seeming chaos, is a return to love, to God, to All That Is. The chaos will weaken and pass. The love will will grow and heal you.

You can help that growth and healing by fully loving yourself, always and in all ways. The power of love focused on yourself can transform your life in magical ways. You, standing alone, can transform your world in magical ways.

Most importantly, you will be returning to yourself, to your true authentic loving self. True love starts with loving yourself. Then you will return to who you really are.

When you love without condition it will not matter what others think of you. You will not allow anyone to define you, to crush your spirit.

Copyright © 2014 by John Cali

Adapted from Spirit Oracle Cards by John Cali, Frederic Calendini, and Stephanie Calendini. Great Western Publishing, 2014

If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please forward it to them with a personal note.


Here’s a beautiful video with popular singer Ray Stevens singing his 1970 hit song, Everything Is Beautiful.


Related posts:

Learning To Love Yourself
11 Reasons You Don’t Love Yourself and What You Can Do About It
How Do You Learn To Love Yourself?
When You Love Yourself Your Problems Are Solved


How can you increase your love and compassion for yourself, and others? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.


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About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations with Spirit: Real Answers To Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming, in the USA’s northern Rocky Mountains. Sign up for his free newsletter here. You’ll receive a free copy of The Book of Joy: How To Live Every Day of Your Life Happily Ever After.

Personal Readings with John and Spirit

12 Responses

  1. Seeker

    Thanks, John! I feel so welcome! Now I’m trying to understand are you a medium? Would you be able to help me ask my grandfather questions about why he hurt me? Also, what is going on in his higher self? Does he regret what he did to me now, or are their evil spirits and he’s one of them? Will you please help me sort this out?

    • John Cali

      You’re welcome.

      I don’t consider myself a medium, as that term is generally understood. I like the term “channel” better.

      We do, however, give readings. Rather than explain all that to you here, I’d suggest you go to this page on our website:

      That will give you a better understanding of what we do. If you have any questions after that, I suggest you contact me by email, instead of on this public forum. My email address is:


      I’ll be happy to help you any way I can.

  2. Seeker

    Hello, John. I just found your website today, subscribed, and started looking through it. Your posts are wonderful, including this one. I can’t wait to be a part of this community and learn about spirituality and who I really am, who we really are! As for the song, it was one of my favorites when it came out I was… Oops, almost gave away my age, but not quite! Anyway, John, Joseph, and the rest of the group, keep up the magnificient and truly inspirational work!

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much. Glad you like the posts and have joined our wonderful community. We’ve got some great folks here.

      I appreciate your kind words. Welcome to the “gang.” 🙂

  3. Mikala

    How can you increase your love and compassion for yourself, and others?

    I would have to say, by accepting who you really are and what that truly means. You/me/all human beings are each one, One with all of creation. Once one realizes the immense scope of this, there is nothing that you cannot love. Love is the seed of Creation, and of the Creator Source, of which we are a part.

  4. Christine

    My greatest teachers of my own reflection are my dogs who are the loves of my life.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Christine. Dogs are wonderful teachers. And they’re great healers too.

  5. Pat

    As per usual, just another perfect, beautiful message at a perfect time. I’d forgotten about that Ray Stevens tune. It means a whole lot more to me now 44 years later. Many things seem to. Ain’t life grand?

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Pat. I agree — I didn’t pay a lot of attention to that song in 1970. But I love it now. Life is beautiful!

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