Where Do Dead People Go? Part 2 by John Cali


Last week we talked about life after death, and we had a pretty good response to it. We’re going to talk about it a bit more this week. Actually, we’re going to talk about life before death, a subject we’ve rarely discussed.

Over the years I’ve been honored to be at the “death beds” of some of my close family, though not recently. Although I wasn’t uncomfortable with it, I did not always know what to say to them, or to the other family members who don’t see death in the same positive way I do.

My spirit guides are fond of reminding us there is little difference between life and death, at least from their perspective. Here they are.


As John said, there truly is little or no difference between life and death. The difference is mainly in your perception of these two aspects of your eternal life. You are eternal. Your life is eternal. Nothing ever ends—certainly not you.

While we acknowledge many of you see physical death as an ending, a simple shift in perspective will help you immensely. When you “die,” or more accurately, when you leave your body, you don’t change.

Your awareness does not change, except to expand beyond anything you experienced while in your physical body. Your consciousness does not change—you are your consciousness. Once you’ve left your body you will know yourself once again as pure consciousness.

So what can you do to help those about to leave their bodies, especially if they fear death or simply don’t understand what it is?

One thing you can avoid doing, if you also fear death, is talking to them about your fears. That will not help them at all.

On the other hand, if you have little or no fear of death, and share our perspective of what it is, you can talk to them about that. Use whatever words you know they will understand.

For example, if they are religious, and you are not, then share your thoughts and feelings with them in religious language they will understand. You could talk about “heaven” and their “dead” loved ones who will greet them there.

Just trust your instincts, your inner guidance, and your love for the person. Follow your heart and your love for him or her. If you’re coming from love she or he will know that, and be comforted.

You might talk about the happy, fun times the person has had in this lifetime. Tell him or her more of the same is waiting “on the other side.”

These are just some of our suggestions. Come up with your own, again allowing your heart and your love to guide you.

Love is always the best guide. Simply to love the person is the best thing you can do to help them cross over. Even if the person is not conscious, in a coma for example, you can still do everything we’ve said here. You can talk to them verbally or telepathically. They will hear you.

Remind them you will always be together—and they can return to you whenever they wish. There is no separation. There is no end.

Related posts:

Death Revisited
Farewell to Rosie
The Far Side of the Rainbow Bridge
Heart to Heart


How do you interact with people who are about to die? Or do you simply avoid them?

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions, whether you agree or disagree with us. Please keep your comments polite and relevant to the topic of this article. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.


16 Responses

  1. ron

    In order to be what we call dead we need to be what we call alive and not avatars in some kind of game being played by what we call higher beings. If we want to keep going on that trail, what we call higher beings may also be avatars on a still higher level, etc.

  2. Pat Ruppel

    Thank you, John. That’s what I want more of is the depth of that joy you speak of. I’ve had some and look forward to learning more. All in perfect timing. Love living this life and embracing it all. Take care – hugs!

    • John Cali

      You’re welcome, Pat. Yes, all in perfect timing. I believe we are meant to live joyful lives.

      Hugs to you too!

  3. Pat Ruppel

    Thank you, my friend. It has taken a long time and I believe, as you said, I will realize the same as you that we are all one and life continues no matter what form.

    It is a gentle process and feel I’m getting closer particularly with what’s going on in the world. I just wish I learned what my grandmother knew and that was the joy. She was able to see and communicate with her loved ones on the other side all the time and was comfortable with it. She knew the joy and connection and realized there was no separation. It was like she could walk in and out of that realm all the time at will.

    I’m close and only have to experience more and God is gentle in not wanting to scare the heebie-jeebies out of me. I’m comforted in that.

    Love and hugs! Stay warm, my friend. God bless.

    • John Cali

      You’re most welcome, Pat. Indeed, life continues forever. There is no death, no separation.

      I can understand the joy your grandmother knew. I think that’s one of the most beautiful parts of our communication with Spirit. They want us to feel the joy they do, and they will do all they can to help us get there. God certainly is gentle, and unconditionally loving toward us all.

      You stay warm too — it’s been a cold fall/winter.

      Love and hugs always,

  4. Pat Ruppel

    . . . continued from previous comment. Kept giving me error my comment was too long.

    A few days later before heading back down to the hospital I walked out in the yard while letting our dog out and came across the two bodies of the fawns along side the fence line in our corral.

    I broke down and cried and couldn’t shake it. It stayed with me the whole day. When I came home it was almost dark and before I let our dog out I noticed the doe in our backyard. I walked out a little distance from her and knelt down. She was standing near where we had buried the babies.

    She turned to look at me and our eyes locked and I cried but our hearts and spirit joined in grief somehow. It was a beautiful long moment we looked at each other. Somehow, she knew we had taken care of her babies and was grateful.

    I know I’m attaching human characteristics to an animal but in the larger scheme of things the doe and I became one in love and grief all at the same time. I wish death and the grief and sadness didn’t affect me as strong as this and I could see more of the joy that Spirit speaks of.

    I feel, with the strongly apparent awakenings that’s happening these days, Spirit will no doubt be teaching me more of these things. I just hope it’s gentle.

    God bless, John, and much love from your Colorado neighbor.

    • John Cali

      Hi Pat,

      I only recently realized it, but there is a word limit for comments. So you did the right thing in breaking yours into 2 parts.

      I understand your feelings about death. I think most humans, at one time or another in their lives, fear or dread death — whether it be that of a loved one, themselves, or an animal. If God is all that is, as my spirit guides say, then all life is sacred. So I understand your bond with that doe. We’re all in this together.

      A Course in Miracles says this: “I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.” It took me many years before I accepted and found peace in those words. I think you will too.

      God bless you, dear.

      Much love to you too,

  5. Pat Ruppel

    Thank you for sharing, John. This is something that is especially hard for me, especially the killing part. Even though, I know it’s part of Nature and to stay alive. It grips my heart from deep within and have a hard time shaking it when I see it in a movie, video or an event.

    A few years ago in early June, hubby was in the hospital and the deer were having their babies. We had a doe who had twins and I noticed they were in our yard a lot. It seemed like they would be inside crying and running up and down the fence line, while mama was on the outside. I couldn’t keep track of their wanderings traveling back and forth to town to the hospital every day but my neighbor noticed and kept tabs. (to be continued)

  6. Micki

    Hi John, as you know , I lost my husband David over 5 years ago now, then my Mum one month after him, I still believe my Mum stay that little bit longer to help me. I always feel them around me, I was very close with my Mum and Dad (who passed 5 years prior to Mum) and know they are all together and will be there for me when its my time to pass. The connection is always there and I am very grateful for that contact. I talk to them often, I feel they help me with certain issues that come up in my life and I feel an overwhelming love when I feel them near.
    I have no fear of passing, I don’t believe I ever did and I,(being a Nurse) too have been very privileged to be present on many occasions when people have passed and have seen with my own eyes, how peaceful that can be.
    Thank you again John, have a wonderful day.
    Love and huge hugs,

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Micki, for sharing your beautiful memories and perspective. If more folks had your perspective, death (and life) would be so much more joyful and peaceful.

      Lots of love & hugs,

  7. Lynn

    I lost my mom two years and a couple months ago. She died of Leukemia and we knew she only had a short time to live. My mom never liked me, not sure exactly why, but my grandma wrote about it in the letters she left for me to read, when she died.

    All my life I wanted my mom to love me and I tried everything. What made our relationship even worse was the abuse going on in my life with a bully. A man sabotaging my life, wrecked havoc on my work and finances.

    My mom thought success was big houses and lots of money. My mom also was an avid republican (not sure why) and I a liberal. I did not want my mom to go to a hospice home. So I and her sister from Minnesota took care of her in her home the last month she was alive.

    I wanted to get our relationship on a positive note before she died. But that did not happen, it ended ugly. A week before my mom died she was watching Fox News along with my two brothers and her sister. Something came on about Obama and my mom had this look of rage in her face and the roar of a lion in her voice directed at me and telling me what a loser and no good person I am, because I voted and supported Obama.

    She died a week later and I could not get her to think differently about me. I tried everything to get my mom’s love, nothing worked. The man that is still bullying me today (10 yrs later) must be having the time of his life, with all those involved in destroying my life. I have come to the conclusion, it is very empowering to bullying and terrorize people. One thing I know, that my grandparents loved me, even if, my mother did not.

    The bullying that has been going on in my life has had an enormous domino effect on the lives around me. It has created enormous negative energy in so many lives. It affected my relationship with my mom. To lose out on important relationships is something hard to swallow, more than trips, houses, material things and trinkets.

  8. Robin Becker

    I have not really been there when any loved ones transitioned. I will admit that before I became awakened to who I really am ..I almost lost my parents in separate illnesses. I was freaking out. When they were able to regain back some wellness I went through like a shock period where I could not even go see them. Looking back, that was one of the catalyst that put me on my spiritual journey. I had to know what happens when we die..who are we and why are we here, etc. I had to know that when my parents transitioned they would be okay. Now I know they will be more than okay. When the time comes I hope I can offer much ease and comfort. They are not wanting to know my knowing but when I can now I will slip in comments such as there is no death or when you transition it will be an awesome party there. I try to find easy words to help ease their fears. I have no fears of when loved ones or when I transition including my dear pets but will admit I get very emotional if I think about them not being here in physical with me. So I am working on that one. I have made it my job to focus on the now and enjoy the time we are sharing and not think forward. I hope to be able to communicate better with the non-physical someday.

  9. Valerie

    For some reason it has fallen to me to be Johnny on the spot many times with the passing of friends or neighbors or relatives. I consider it an honor, and usually let the wishes of those affected determine the course of the conversations. It’s not so much what you say, as just being there for support that matters. And often its a blessing, a release from pain or sickness that just went on too long. I know my presence was helpful to others and allowed me to say good bye, at least for the moment.

    What took longer for me was realizing that ‘they’ are not ‘gone’. I felt the loss when my mother passed, very much. Thought at the time, I wouldn’t be reunited until it was my own turn to go. Now I know better, she’s always with me, in my heart. That’s not just a figurative turn of phrase. I mean it, quite literally, though it took me some decades to get past my belief in separation.

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