Wholeness by John Cali

posted in: Blog, channeling | 14

We’ve talked about this subject many times before, but it keeps coming up in my conversations with folks. The other day a friend referred to his wife as his “better half.” It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that expression, and I do not like it any better now than I did long ago.

Are we really incomplete, only half a person, without another, especially a romantic partner? I know many folks, including me, who’ve lived happily alone for years. None of these people are antisocial, but they are comfortable being by themselves.

Here are some of Spirit’s thoughts:

You are all magnificent creators — gods and goddesses in human bodies. Every thought you think, every act you do, every move you make contributes to the growth and well-being of your fellow humans, your planet, the universe, all that is. But you often forget this, you forget who you really are.

You are always connected to your God self, your spirit. Your spirit — or higher self, if you prefer — is available to you in every single moment of your life on this planet. Your spirit never leaves you. You are never alone.

Today many relationships, and probably most romantic relationships, start from a place of need. A place of feeling you, by yourself, are not enough.

But you are enough, all by yourself. You are complete, all by yourself. If you’re looking for another to complete you, the relationship is doomed from the beginning.

You, as a single human being, aligned with your spirit, are complete just as you are. Wholeness is who you are.


Do you need another person, a lover, spouse, or anyone else, before you feel your life is complete?

14 Responses

  1. Lisa

    Hi John

    When I read this Article,It brings back a lot of memories! Here in Texas,out in the country,a lot of men say this when we have get togethers, But most of us women have alway’s taken it as a compliment, As well as when you walk out to your Husband while he is talking to a few other men,They will also say,”Here comes your better half” or if your not their yet,they will ask, “Where is your better half at” I have grown up hearing this all my life,I have never thought of it in any bad or negative way. But I do understand where you are coming from.

    When I was younger,before getting married,all my friends were getting married,leaving home to go live with their new husband…I use to wonder at that time,Will I ever meet the right guy? Although I worked so much 2 Jobs mostly at a time.

    Then a few years later,many of them were divorcing at a young age and had kids too!! I decided I am not going to make that mistake as many of these women had to move back with their parents since they never knew how to live alone 1st.

    I took the opposite route,and decided I was fine on my own,loved being home when I could,which wasn’t much,But I wanted to make sure that I could fully support myself on my own before ever getting married,Sure I dated,and was in long term relationships,when I or he would break it off, They always seem to come back around when your with someone else?? Not when you are single.

    I had just been out of a relationship for about 6 months,but was being hounded by ex-boyfriends to get back together,which I chose not to!!

    It always seem’s like the right guy comes along when your not looking,I was not ready nor did I want a relationship when I met my husband, Infact I thought we were friends,but I soon found out later he felt differntly,he was in love….I even had to tell him to back off some or I will run if I feel smothered,he finally did and waited until I was ready.

    My point is I didn’t need him for support,escape from parents,or even just needing anyone there,as I am a Leo,very stubborn,independent,etc…But after awhile I fell in Love with him.

    So therefor I wanted him,Not needing Him,and there is a Big difference!

    Great Article! Blessings

  2. Joseph

    The need to feel fulfilled makes the world spin around. Truth be known in most cases it is the ‘human aspect’ of the soul (ego) that is seeking a diversion to keep the soul from reaching its’ desire for unity and oneness. Some find their diversion by busying themself in a relationship, others’ problems, their work, etc., etc.

    Wholeness of self is the soul’s desire – a reunion with the creator; wholeness to the ego is union with what they feel it lacks in the illusionary physical world.

  3. Jerry

    I’ve heard of couples who have lived together for years without any problems… and so they decide to get married and ended up divorcing shortly thereafter! I wonder if it’s something in the paper?! = )

    Maybe if we thought enough about our lives and why we do many things, we would quickly have new friends that reflect back our love and not what is lacking.

    so much love in the universe… if we could just see it in ourselves!

    Love to all,

  4. Cinda Miller

    Hi John

    Yes, many people feel incomplete without a partner, believing that there is someone “out there” that will complete them. First you have to fall in love with yourself before finding someone to “share” life experiences. If you are looking for someone to make you happy, you are putting a huge responsibility on someone else. If you want to be happy, you have to do the work, not give that work to another person. Once you are complete within yourself, you are a better companion and much more loveable.

    Thanks John for your post.

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Cinda, for your wise comments. As you said, no one can make us happy except ourselves. And as my spirit guides say, “Happiness is an inside job.”


  5. Jeannie

    I’m going to send you a poem in a minute. “Knight in Shining Armour” , I wrote yesterday and haven’t sent it on yet. It pertains to this. I think you will enjoy it.

    I like being alone, I like eating in a restaurant, having coffee and writing in my notebook or reading a lesson . Many people seen to have this need of others so they can forget themselves. I wonder why it is so important not to be by yourself…….what is there to fear?

    I’m beginning to get to know me and to love me……..

    love and hugs

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Jeannie! As you said, what is there to fear? Or, as US President Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

      Love and hugs,

  6. Shawn

    Thanks for writing about this topic. I’ve often said the same thing for years, but most people I come across don’t seem to understand it. Relationships coming from a place of need are so prevalent and often encouraged in our society. It can be hard to hear that is not healthy at first, but incredibly empowering when you realize your own wholeness.

  7. Martha


    I agree fully.
    This is so true.


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