What do you see when you look at yourself in a mirror? What do you feel?

For many years I did not like the guy I saw in the mirror every morning. He was never good enough. Sound familiar?

I’m convinced virtually every problem we have is rooted in a lack of self-love. And we humans are ingenious at inventing reasons why we cannot love ourselves. You’re probably familiar with the long litany. For example:

  • I’m too fat.
  • I’m too skinny.
  • I’m not good-looking enough.
  • I’m not popular with people.
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • I see nothing good in myself.
  • My mother (father) didn’t love me.
  • I grew up in an oppressive religion.
  • My teacher was mean to me.
  • My brother (sister) never liked me.
  • I can never do anything right.

The bottom line here is simple: I do not believe I am good enough—for anything or anyone. And I am always criticizing myself.

What if we turned that twisted thinking around, and began to see ourselves as our spirits see us—or, if you prefer, as God sees us.

Let’s substitute that dreary litany above for a more positive and realistic one:

  • I am magnificent and beautiful.
  • I was born to be a bright being of light and love.
  • I acknowledge I am this beautiful human being I was born to be.
  • I believe in myself.
  • I believe in my dreams.
  • I know I can realize my dreams—or I would not have had them to begin with.
  • Nothing is too good for me.
  • I deserve it all.
  • I can have it all.
  • I am perfect, just as I am.
  • I am perfect as I change and grow.

Here are a few practices I’ve adopted over the years:

  • I remember I can never truly succeed at anything if I do not love myself.
  • I must never criticize myself for anything.
  • I let go of whatever does not serve me: thoughts, beliefs, relationships—everything that no longer works for me.
  • I always trust my inner guidance, knowing it never leads me astray.
  • I ignore those who criticize or judge me.
  • I consult my spirit guides whenever I need their support.
  • I contact other people when I need help. I’ve learned not to be afraid to ask for help.
  • I make quiet time for myself every day, usually by meditating.
  • I treat my body as the special gift it is.
  • I do the mirror technique every day. (More on that below.)
  • I create a calm, peaceful environment in my home and office.

Finally, let’s talk about a couple things we can do to increase our love for ourselves.

My spirit guides often recommend a little exercise (it’s not original with them):

First thing every morning look into a mirror, deeply into your own eyes. Then say “(Your name), I love and accept you just as you are.”

Do that several times, and make it a daily practice. You’ll be amazed at how powerful a practice it is. You’ll begin appreciating and loving yourself more. And you’ll begin to see yourself through the eyes of your spirit.

Another exercise: Write yourself a love letter. That’s right—a love letter to yourself! How do you think you’re going to feel when you write that letter? But that doesn’t really matter. Just do it!


Here’s a great video of several folks struggling to write themselves a love letter:

Related links:
Love Is a Choice
Love Is Not Enough


Do you struggle with loving yourself? What can you do to love yourself more? What are the ways that have worked for you? Please share your thoughts and comments with us.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations With Spirit: Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.