11 Reasons You May Not Be As Happy As You Want To Be by John Cali and Spirit

Happy Smiling Cat by Yumi Kimura

One of the most common complaints Spirit and I hear from folks is they don’t know how to be happy unless certain conditions are met. Conditions that often have nothing to do with them, and which are beyond their control.

Sound familiar? That was the way I lived my life for many years—till I finally woke up.

Here are some of Spirit’s thoughts.


As John said, we hear lots of excuses why people think they cannot be happy. Notice we said “excuses,” not “reasons.”

There are no good reasons why you cannot be happy. But if you insist there are—well, then you’ll find them.

As your wonderful writer, one of John’s favorites, Richard Bach said, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.”

  • You make your happiness dependent on someone else’s choices. For example, if your lover is unhappy, then you will be unhappy.
  • You tell yourself you’ll be happy when you get that perfect partner, job, degree, etc.
  • You’ll be happy when you have XXX number of dollars in the bank.
  • You’ll be happy when you can quit your miserable job.
  • You’ll be happy when you retire.
  • You’ll be happy when you can move to that new house.
  • You’ll be happy when you can move to that new town.
  • You’ll be happy when you can buy that shiny new car.
  • You’ll be happy when you have more influential friends.
  • You’ll be happy when your book is published.
  • You’d be happy if you could return to those “good old days.”
  • And so on.

None of any of that will make you happy.

Happiness comes from within you. And it comes from within the now moment—not some dim distant past, nor some dreamy far-off future.

Be fully present in the moment, knowing the universe (or God, if you prefer) knows all your desires—and is aligning all the energies needed to bring you those desires.

If you acknowledge and accept that, and live only in the present moment, then you will be happy.

It’s that simple.


In this video spiritual teacher Adyashanti talks about the futility of searching for happiness in all the wrong places.

Related links:
Living With Pain or Joy: It’s Your Choice
Happiness Revisited
But He’s Happy


How happy are you, really? Do you have all the happiness in your life you want and deserve? If not, what can you do about it? Please share your thoughts and comments with us.

What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.


About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions: Conversations With Spirit, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.

8 Responses

  1. Chuck

    buddhists seem to be more conservative in the sense they don’t talk about Universe being abundant or go for you dreams etc.. they just seem to say nothing matters??

    sometimes i wonder why even the spiritualists who are masters who have done years of meditations still have differing philosophies in this regard..
    like abraham hicks has done lot of meditation too and she is more for goign for your dreams and everything you desire is done etc..
    buddhists would cringe at that i think… i know bottom line even abraham hicks says when you are unattached everything you experience is only joy….

    wonder if Spirit can answer this different perspective but probably same core meaning??

    • John Cali

      Thank you for your comments. I suspect it may be, as you said, the “same core meaning” — different perspectives and paths. But they all lead to the same place.

      • Chuck

        thx for posting the video too. Adyashanti definitely his energy is great! i liked him instantly.

  2. Eoin

    Thank you, John. Those are 11 very common excuses, and I have used more than a few of them quite regularly. It seems that the challenge is to learn to be happy in the good times and the tough times. And considering that it is usually easy to be happy in the good times, then the actual challenge is to be happy in the tough times. For me, when things get tough, the very process of asking the question, “What’s happening now?” can really stop my thinking mind and allow me to see what’s actually happening as opposed to the story my mind is telling me about what’s happening. When my mind is calm and quiet the natural state of joy returns, like the sun rising in the morning. As Spirit said, it is all about being present.

    I enjoyed the Adyashanti link, too. He has some great books and videos.



    • John Cali

      You’re very welcome Eoin. I agree — the actual challenge is to be happy when things are not going smoothly. I find meditation helps tremendously to get me through the rough spots. As you say, when the mind is calm and quiet, the joy returns — no matter what’s happening around us.

      I just recently discovered Adyashanti. I think he’s great.

      I hope all is well with you and your family.

      Love to you all,

  3. Mikala

    Yes, thank you, I do have serious joy every moment, even when things are challenging.

    What you can do if you don’t have that is to stop telling yourself you don’t have it.

    Joy is here, right here, for you in uncountable ways. Everything you want and need has already been prepared for you, it’s waiting until you are ready, willing, and able to receive it. i.e. you quit thinking you don’t have it.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Mikala.

      Yes, I agree completely — when we don’t have joy, the only reason is we keep telling ourselves we don’t have it. It’s always right there at our fingertips — but it we don’t believe it is, then we don’t believe we have it.

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