What’s Your Story? by John Cali

One day as I was grocery shopping I happened to hear two ladies discussing their woes. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but could not help overhear them. They were not talking quietly.

Both were having health problems. They were describing their problems in great detail to each other. This went on for quite a while, and I finally moved to another part of the store, out of earshot.

I see nothing wrong with acknowledging problems, whether they be health issues or anything else. But I do know, from my own personal experience, talking endlessly about anything, is going to bring more of it to you. You are defining and labeling yourself until you become your story.

To quote Deepak Chopra, “Freedom lies in separating yourself from your story.”

Here’s Spirit.


You all tell stories about yourselves, and you love to listen to others’ stories. The problems begin when you tell stories of “woe,” to use John’s word in his introduction.

When you dwell endlessly in conversations about your problems, your problems “loom larger than life,” if you will. That is literally true — whatever you focus on expands and brings more of your focus into your experience. You can literally make yourselves sick with your words. You can even kill yourselves.

If you talk about sickness you will be sick. If you talk about health you will be healthy. It’s that simple. Whatever story you tell about yourselves will manifest if you tell it long enough.

Eventually you begin to identify your self — your being — with your story. Then you become, for example, a “cancer patient.” You are not a cancer patient. That’s only a label you give yourself. You are a person who is temporarily out of balance.

Do you see the difference? Tell a better story and you’ll change your experience.

This applies to all areas of your human lives — health, aging, relationships, finances, etc. Tell the story you want and that’s the story you’ll live.

But even when you’re telling positive stories about yourselves you get into difficulty, even then, if you identify yourselves with your stories. You are not your stories. All you are is the person telling the stories.

Perhaps we’ll talk more about this another time.


What is your story? Please share it with us below.

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions. Please keep them kind and compassionate. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.

8 Responses

  1. Judith Anderson

    I think that I told the story I was trying to change the last time I posted. Reading your column re stress allowed me to work through in almost stream of consciousness mode what I was trying to redefine for myself.

    For a number of years I have felt mostly anxiety free, and it was such a shock to be contending with it again.

    The next morning I read the paperwork that had come with a new Rx and discovered that along with the side effects the doctor had mentioned, anxiety and inability to sleep at night were also included, along with the blurred vision that was taking a lot of joy out of my life. I instantly dropped that medication from my life.

    Sixteen months ago I took no pharmaceuticals and relied on natural healing. But, when I fell and broke my arm and shoulder and needed three surgeries, the hospital diagnosed me with all kinds of health issues and gave me medications which I have not known how to replace naturally.

    I have also been able to afford these as I have a very small co pay on Rx under my health plan, but what is the point of saving money if I am poisoning myself and buying into other’s defining me as ill and in need of medical intervention?

    Defining myself as healthy and vital and above all else, Happy.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Judith, for your thoughtful comments. I think the medical profession serves a useful purpose, especially if the practitioner is holistically-minded. But, as you say, they often define you as ill and say the only way you can get well, in their view, is through drugs, surgery, etc. That only instills fear in the patient, not hope and optimism.


  2. Shirley McLain

    I enjoyed reading your article. As a Christian I had always been taught not to talk about the bad things that happen. You talk the good things and keep the faith. Your saying the exact same thing. I have found that sometimes it is easier said than done.

  3. Bartholomew

    “But even when you’re telling positive stories about yourselves you get into difficulty, even then, if you identify yourselves with your stories. You are not your stories. All you are is the person telling the stories.”

    I’m confused. Can the “another time” Spirit talks further about this be next time? Thinking I need that paragraph elaborated on.

    • John Cali

      We’ll add it to our schedule, and respond as soon as we can. We have quite a few other questions “waiting in line.”

  4. Sabrina

    Simply put (and referencing an old saying): “You bring about what you think about”.

    Thank you for sharing this ‘reminder’. As human beings having this spiritual experience, we sometimes lapse into that old banter. But, it’s always good to have gentle reminders to help steer ourselves out of that habit, or in some cases; learned behavior. Much appreciated! 🙂

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Sabrina. I agree on the “gentle reminders” — I sure need them! 🙂


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