Learning To Love Yourself by John Cali

Do you love yourself unconditionally? If you’re like most of us, the answer is almost certainly “No.” Are you looking for that “one and only” romantic relationship? Many folks are.

Spirit has said, many times, if we don’t fall head-over-heels in love with ourselves first we can never love others well.

This is a funny video with a serious message. I think you’ll enjoy it. (Beware, however, especially if you’re sensitive – the video has some rough language.)


Do you feel comfortable with the idea of falling head-over-heels in love with yourself? What can you do to nurture and love yourself more? Please share your thoughts with us below.

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions, whether you agree or disagree with us. Please keep your comments polite and relevant to the topic of this blog post. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.

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27 Responses

  1. Martha C.

    John, People really needed to hear this, it`s really Time! I`ve spent most of my life loving the `wrong’ people who were not loving selves firstly, spent alot of wasted time & energy, I know what you`re going to say, everything has a purpose, lessons etc, lost my passion for people, it lays w/ animals now, am huge lover of animals,they give unconditional love, I see their inner beauty, they`re just PURE SOULS, perfection,I think I really came to Earth to help animals…..my Real purpose. I have 3 pets, one of them I rescued… I still help people when it`s needed, when oppurtunities present themselves, I also `know’ I am not from here, love planet earth.Please tell Benjamin our hearftfelt thanks for his frankness, will watch his other videos, Merci, John xo

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Martha. I agree — animals are easier to love. But, as you also said, everything has a purpose.

  2. Rene

    Thank you John and Spirit for sharing. A simple and direct message. Love and Peace to All!!

  3. Martha C.

    John, Am new subscriber but, this guys message is EXACTLY what I needed to hear, I laughed, & he`s so RIGHT too, thank you John, my timing IS perfect, Blessings to you & family. Martha C.

    • John Cali

      Hi Martha,

      I’m glad it was timely for you. And, yes, your timing is perfect. 🙂


  4. Micki

    Wow!!! love this guy, puts it right out there and so very true….thank you John.
    Huge hugs,

  5. Shawn

    Thanks for posting this video. I love this dude! And he’s spot on. Fill your own void and the rest is just icing on the cake 🙂

  6. Emma

    Thank you for posting this John. He is the bomb! I really enjoyed listening to him, it was concise and loving.

    Enjoyed reading all of the comments!

  7. Bella

    Great message! Benjamin put a smile on my face.. Thanks!

  8. Margaret Unger

    Realizing that there is nothing but God. That I AM God, creating Itself as me: Margaret. That really helps the self love process. Realizing then that God is creating itself as everyone and every single “thing”. Its all alive. Its all sentient. Its all good in the larger scheme of things. That is what helps with the loving/ self loving for me.

  9. Sarah

    Can anyone give me some examples of how to begin practicing this?

  10. Martha

    We’re programmed by society (and religion) that loving yourself is selfish.
    So we feel guilty if we put our selves first because in the beginning anyway, it feels wrong!

    As ABRAHAM says,

    ” Nothng that you want is upstream in the struggle. Everything worth having is downstream. Just let go the oars and allow yourself to float downstream by BEING who you are and doing what feels good. Say, ‘ I WANT TO FEEL GOOD. NOTHING MATTERS THAN THAT I FEEL GOOD.'”

    The Course in Miracles says,


    And how about,

    ” Love your neighbor as yourself”?
    Well that would depend on how well you are loving your self, wouldn’t it?

    The FEAR BASED AGENDA we’ve all been programmed with pretty much since birth on this planet is a hard one to lick if you’ve been at it awhile.(Believe me, I know).

    But to me, daring to love myself may well be the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I really really want to get there.

    I agree with Ben JAMMIN that it doesn’t have to be that hard. NOT loving ourselves is MUCH harder!

    Love to all of you out there who want the same, especially those who like me, have not yet mastered self love, but know you want to!

    Let’s support each other!!!

    Thanks John for your great post.


  11. deborah

    I love this man! I’m in the process of falling head over heals in love with myself and I have noticed that most of the people in my life have moved away from me. Nobody new has come into my life. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t, but it’s okay. It’s better than being with someone who doesn’t love me. Thanks for this wonderful, funny video.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Deborah. I’ve noticed the same thing — people move away from you when you love yourself, and when you make no secret of loving yourself. I suspect that’s because they don’t love themselves, and cannot understand someone who practices self-love.

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