Life and Love Are Not For the Fainthearted by John Cali

Beartooth Pass, Wyoming USA

Life and love, with their many twists and turns, ups and downs, are like a high mountain road—not for the fainthearted.

When we know in our hearts there is a course we must follow, there is no doubt or hesitation. There is only the firm conviction this is absolutely the right course, no matter how difficult it is. And it’s always for the highest good of all involved.

In the last three months three of my close relationships have foundered and/or sunk. So I’m averaging one per month. 🙂

Given the state of the relationships, I decided the wise course was to leave them. I feel no animosity or bitterness, only the clear recognition that it’s time.

In similar situations in the past I was devastated or, at best, disappointed. These situations are not always easy, and almost always a bit sad. That’s true here.

But I look forward to the days and years ahead. My work will continue, for it’s what I love to do. It’s not really work—in fact, I’ve started calling it my “playwork,” for my work and my play have become one.

My heartfelt gratitude goes out to all of you who have generously supported and loved us during these years. I know your love and support will continue as we all move forward on our paths with joy.

Life goes on.

And, as my spirit guides often remind us, life is supposed to be fun—and we never lose those we love.

God bless you all!



Here’s a beautifully filmed video, Of Life and Love: Rumi Poetry:


What have you learned from the challenges you’ve faced in your relationships? How have they helped you grow? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.

What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.


About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions: Conversations With Spirit, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.

23 Responses

  1. Chuck

    if you are connected to Source and you have mostly been aligned to Source then this should not happen right? I mean even if someone is gone from your life it will not cause any despair whatsoever. it will be mutual amicable separation.
    That is if you are connected to Source sufficiently you would not feel even a small drop of negativity or sadness?
    Is that accurate statement?

    ok now that is hard to do. So I feel what you might be feeling. it does churn our stomachs.. so best wishes that somehow it will be more smooth for you too.

    • John Cali

      Yes, I agree with that, Chuck — if we are fully aligned with Source, we feel no negativity or sadness.

      Achieving that alignment does not have to be hard. What makes it hard is that we’ve bought into the mass consciousness that says when we “lose” something, we “should” be sad.

      Source does not see it that way. Source sees every experience we have as another step on our path to greater awareness — another step back into full alignment with Source. When we can see it from the eyes of Source, we will know complete peace.

      Thanks very much for your kind wishes.

  2. Pam Maxwell

    People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a life-time. My 22 year marriage ended 9 years ago, but my ex-husband has now become a good friend to me. Even though we live separate lives, we have stayed connected. We are closer now than when we were married, good friends. I believe people move out of our lives to allow others to come in. All relationships (I believe) are here to teach us about ourselves. Through all of that, I came to realize the best relationship we can have is with ourselves. So I Bless all those who have been a part of my life, for helping me showing me who I am. I believe no labor of love is in vain. It all counts. Now I am having the time of my life, and I am becoming my own best friend. I thank All of those who helped me get to where I am, and I thank myself for paying attention. Life is GOOD !!!!!

    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Pam. I agree with everything you said, and you said it all very well.

      All our relationships are special, whether we’ve drifted apart or not. Deepak Chopra has an affirmation, “I cherish all my connections.” I love that.

      Life really is GOOD!

  3. Conshana

    You can walk out of my House.
    You can walk out of my Life
    But you can never walk out of my Heart,
    For the Footprints you have left there are Eternal.

    The BridgeWalker

  4. Sarah

    I love this video! The poem ‘Everyone is tempted by the eloquence of speech but I am a slave to the master of silence.’ just made me cry.

  5. Toni

    John, I’m sad for you because I know how you feel. I had a friend for 60+ years and we had a falling out in the last few months. I tried to amend the situation, but she made a horrible accusation that I wanted her husband, of all things! I am still hurt and devastated, and the friendship is irreparably broken. To add to that, my own daughter is still her friend! I am more hurt by that than anything, and I am finding it very hard to get past. I suppose time will heal it.

    Love you, John.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Toni, for your kindness.

      I know how painful these situations can be. But I also know they will pass, for nothing is permanent. I’ll send you lots of love and healing energies.

      You are right — time WILL heal it.

      Thanks again, my dear.

      Lots of love and hugs,

  6. jerry

    Though it still affects me, changes in relationships used to be quite devastating. Most people depend on the other person to make up the shortcomings in their life so any change to that codependency will be shattering.

    For me, the illusion of great loss was changed when I began to look inside and see that any lack I felt was my own undoing. As I perceive the god energy in myself and that it is complete, it allows me to see others (my other self) in their eyes and appreciate them for how we connect. This has changed my life so much, that I now have great fun meeting new people and seeing my reflection in another one’s eyes.

    I no longer dread losing friendships, as we are all mirrors to each other and I know we will always love each other. Love has no boundaries and we are just balancing out any energies leftover from open issues.

    All is well : )


    • John Cali

      Thank you very much, Jerry.

      What a beautiful and powerful perspective you have on relationships! Thank you for sharing it. If we could all look at our relationships like that, life would become so much easier for so many.

      As you said, love has no boundaries. And it never dies.


      • Toni

        Forgive me for being obtuse, John and Jerry, but can you expand on the “mirror” analogy. How do I see my reflection in another’s eyes? What am I looking for? I’ve tried doing this in the past with little success. Thank you.

        Love to you both.

        • John Cali

          You’re not being obtuse, Toni! That’s a perfectly fine question.

          Briefly, what it means, in my opinion, is the qualities — negative or positive — we notice most in others are simply reflections of the same qualities in ourselves. Hence the mirror analogy.

          Perhaps Jerry can add more to this.

          Hope that helps.


          • Toni

            oooh, that’s not good, John. I must learn how to do this. Kinda scary.


        • jerry

          Hi Toni,

          I came to realize the mirror effect before I started my ‘spiritual’ journey, when I was reading about how quantum physicist’s noticed subatomic particles reacted to our perceptions. They changed from a state of neutrality to motion based on the observer. This, in turn, physically changed the world around us.

          It struck me quite hard that if that is the case, we create our own reality, literally. So when I look at the world around me, I changed the neutral energy to a state of motion based on my feelings and emotions. Therefore, when I observe anything at all, people, events, nature, etc., I am biased as to the way I feel.

          So for me, I am the center of my universe due to the way I observe and this neutral energy universe or reality is created out of observations and feelings.

          To me it blends spirit with physicality.


          • Toni

            Thank you for your reply, Jerry. Very interesting, especially “due to the way I observe.” You’ve given me a lot of food for thought.

            Much love to you for your help.

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