When You Look In the Mirror Do You Like What You See? by John Cali and Spirit

Bernardo_Strozzi_-_Old_Woman_at_the_Mirror_-_WGA21912Old Woman at the Mirror by Bernardo Strozzi

There’s a worldwide epidemic devastating our planet today—self-hatred. Over the years in my work and personal life, I’ve seen the effects of this epidemic—it ain’t pretty.

Most of us, including me, have at one time or another been unable to look in the mirror and like what we see, let alone love it. That’s pretty sad.

Here’s Spirit.


We do not tell you anything you do not already know, in some part of your awareness. We serve only as loving reminders of the glory and grandeur you are. Here are a few reminders for you to ponder.

  • You are perfect just as you are. Do you believe that? It’s true.
  • Be modest when it’s appropriate. But never be falsely modest. Let your light shine.
  • You are far more than you have ever imagined. You have unique gifts and talents which empower you to serve the world and everyone in it.
  • Honor yourself always and in all ways, just as God honors you.
  • Your every thought and word affects others. So use that power with kindness and compassion— toward others and yourself.
  • Avoid people who do not support you or, worse, who belittle you. You deserve better than that.
  • You deserve all the love and abundance you’ve ever wanted—all the abundance God offers you, in all forms.
  • Love yourself unconditionally. Be kind and compassionate with yourself, always.
  • Love is the answer to all your challenges.
  • Love will heal you. Love is all there is.
  • You deserve all the love there is, from others and, above all, from yourself.
  • Look in a mirror every day and say “I love you!”


While this epidemic affects men and women, it’s far more devastating to women. In this funny/sad video Australian journalist Tracy Spicer strips off her dress on-stage to make that point loud and clear.

Related links:
Do You Have a Hard Time Loving Yourself?
Self-Esteem Revisited



Do you accept yourself exactly as you are, right here and now? What can you do love and nurture yourself more? What are some ways you use to boost your self-love? Please share your thoughts and comments with us.


What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

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About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations With Spirit: Real Answers to Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming. Sign up for his newsletter here.

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16 Responses

  1. Gail

    Hi John,

    This is a subject I have pondered, too.

    To me, dressing, for women of all ages, is an art form. And we can choose what we wish to wear–or not wear.

    My neighbors are “clothing optional” people. And they have explained that by not wearing clothes, it makes “everyone equal”… I don’t understand their perspective at all, because I already consider everyone equal before they take their clothes off. But if that makes them happy, fine with me.

    It’s my opinion that most women dress for men. And they have plastic surgery for men. If all the men were taken off the planet, women most likely would dress in Birkenstocks and baggy old clothes.

    Women do not have to dress or look like Barbie dolls. Certain men like that look, but as we know, there are woman all over the world with loving partners, and they come in all shapes and sizes and dressing styles.

    I agree with the woman who stated that Tracey’s media attire was a uniform. If she wants to be in front of the camera, well, she can’t slouch around in her pajamas with no make-up. She can elsewhere, but why would she want to?

    For women, in my opinion, it is part of our femininity to dress to express ourselves. And it is fun to wear all kinds of styles and colors that men do not wear.

    I am a widow of a certain age going through my second “single” era. Tonight I have a dinner date. And I am planning to wear a dress in a bright color, with low heels…because I know men like that kind of thing. I don’t have to. I’m not required to as a uniform. But for me, it is fun.

    If I were meeting girlfriends for dinner, I would most likely show up in pants and flats. But it would still be fun.


  2. Susan

    Thanks, John, for more inspiring videos and introducing me to people I was not aware of previously! I took the opportunity to Google her… even more inspiring!!!

    Love and blessings,

  3. Barbara

    And the Aussies call us “whinging poms”! 🙂

    As you know John, no one is more passionate about gender equality and honouring the sacred feminine and divine masculine than me.

    But think this lady is taking it too far. She chose to work in television and as someone who has also worked in television I know there is a “uniform” just as there are uniforms in many other occupations. Men in tv also wear make up and have to wear ties which can be uncomfortable. I don’t like to be critical but I think blaming society, patriarchy or your job is a cop out.

    We all have choices and the days of the “blame game” are over. To me it’s old energy to blame and whinge.

    Gender inequality and double standards still exist but they are not insurmountable. We had a powerful and often overlooked politician in the U.K. government called Mo Mowlam. She played a huge part in the Irish peace process. She was a powerful, caring and intelligent woman who did not fit the “barbie doll” mould. In the midst of the Irish peace talks she was undergoing chemotherapy and often took her wig off during debates. It caused shock at first but people soon got used to it.

    Women in western societies are freer now than they’ve ever been apart perhaps from during W.W.II – in the U.K. at least. I think we should celebrate and build on that.


  4. Sarah D

    Hi John,
    Brilliant video, totally loved it. What she demonstrates is so painfully true. We live in a society obsessed by appearances and self image. Constantly fed the message that we’re not good enough just as we are, that by society’s standards we are found wanting. It’s rife in all sectors. Not only that we could be better but that life is some kind of competition to be more successful, more beautiful, more abundant than our peers and colleagues.

    Thankfully I got out of the rat race and my life is much more relaxed. I do things to please me, with consideration for others of course. I dress how I please, eat what I want, do things when I am ready to do them at my own pace etc.

    One thing I really dislike is the way women are portrayed as sexual objects. Especially in advertising. And in the workplace. It’s belittling.

    It’s great that the lady in this video is raising awareness. Good on her!

  5. Emma Marie Hanna

    oopsey…it was very powerful experience.

  6. Emma Marie Hanna

    Amazing, the timing of this! I have struggled with low self-esteem for many years, but I thought I had gotten a handle on it. Recently a well meaning friend made some remarks, gave some non-approving looks, that pretty much sent me into a self-conscious tail spin.
    I started looking at myself in the mirror, again, but this time, for whatever the reason, I was able to be compassionate with myself. I would stare into my eyes…say how much I love me…it was very experience. Yesterday, while getting ready for a party, I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw “me” looking back.
    That “me” that was buried deep under false lies/beliefs, others opinions, the vulnerability and so on….
    I saw my soul and she is gorgeous! She has waited 56 years to be let out of her cage and it was the most beautiful, life changing experience.
    Thank you, John and Spirit for this message…it validated, maybe gave voice to my experience.
    Love and Hugs…Em

    • John Cali

      Thank again, Em. I appreciate your sharing your powerfully touching experience with us. You and I have known each other many years, but this is the first time I’ve heard you say you’ve let your soul out of her cage. Congratulations, dear!

      Love and hugs,

      • Emma Marie Hanna

        Thanks, Johnny! Took me by surprise! Gotta love how Spirit works!
        Love and Hugs, Em

  7. Bridget

    That is why we must really listen and teach our children well; I read something that was beautiful recently; remember Roots, where Kunta Kinte was held up to the sky by his father, saying there was no one in the universe as him? We often need to remind ourselves this in what we can offer and be of service in.

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