Non-Judgement Day by John Cali

One of my favorite quotations from A Course in Miracles is “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.” That’s a tough one for most of us.

I occasionally take a day to observe the ways I can be judgemental, and then consciously drop all judgement. I call it non-judgement day.

Here are some words of advice from Spirit.

If you could all rid your world and yourselves of judgement, you could create a much different world than you’re experiencing today. Judgement, harsh criticism, refusing to understand the paths of others — these all create more havoc in your world than all of your other perceived problems combined.

When you judge another — an individual, a group, a nation, a society — you are also judging yourselves. And when you judge, you are always saying, in effect, “You are not living your life the way I think you should. Therefore, you are wrong. And the only way you can be right is to do things my way. It’s either my way or the wrong way!

That, in effect, is what most of you are saying most of the time when you judge others (or yourselves, for that matter).

We suggest you make a conscious choice to love yourselves and one another, without condition and without judgement. Make every day non-judgement day.


What are the ways you find yourself being judgemental? Please share with us below.

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18 Responses

  1. Mary

    John, I really thought you had photoshopped that photo. Looks just like you!

    Pamela, I too have cut ties with people who did not bring good things to my life, but I think that’s more knowing what’s best for you, than judging them.

    This article was timely for me too. I try to not judge people and have gotten better at it over the years, but still catch myself judging sometimes. Luckily I can usually realize it before I verbalize what I’m thinking. The world would be very boring if everyone thought the same way and I try to remind myself of that. Unless a person is, like Pamela said, draining my energy and/or abusive, I’m now trying to figure out what part of their personality or way of thinking that I would like to learn from them to improve myself. Since I’m not a writer, I hope this makes sense.

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Mary! No, that photo is a US government image, and it’s in the public domain (not copyrighted).

      Hope all is well with you.


  2. Sarah

    I have been slowly starting to become less and less judgemental and it really does make life feel much lighter! Where I have dificulty is when it comes to the way other people (and mainstream society) raise their children. Infants and children are treated so badly and it’s so commonplace. For me, it seems like there really is a right way and a wrong way to raise kids so, yes, this is an issue I would like some help with!

    • 1st perspective singular

      Hi Sarah,
      nice to meet a like minded individual :o) I could have written those very words myself, in honesty.
      I realise, now, especially now, that the root of my relating in the moment of now is deeply linked, if not a repeat performance, of the ideals I hold regarding my parents in relation to each other and in relation to myself. This holds true for all of us until we have learned to release any fear which arises from ego conditioning.
      I, personally, placed my father on a pedestal, he was the epitome of Neptunian energy, the dream, the illusion, the absence of Sun. On the other hand, I have always felt that my mother’s influence has been a domineering one, and also quite disempowering.
      So now I see the root of the patterns I perpetuate within my own relating to myself and others.
      I have refused to be the Sun at the centre of my personal ‘Solar System’ in relation to my relating with other people. I have put others first and unduly given away my power in relationships. The archetypal Martyr, the experience of suffering so to speak. This has played out in my life again and again through my relationships not only with men, but with family, friends and even those I have never physically interacted with.
      On the positive side, my nurturing moon, ruler of the emotional sphere, mothering, early infancy etc is strong in my chart, so I am a caring, nurturing person in my feminine, emotional essence. Its all very well caring, but if I am not directing that care towards oneself, it does reveal a chasm, and this chasm is replaced by another energy or belief or behaviour or attitude or emotion, for all are different manifestations of this chasm and lack.
      I have been working hard on reintegrating my sense of self into myself at many levels. Now I need to examine my relationship between myself and my mother, and then, ultimately, the relationship between my mother and my father. I have made a conscious effort to release my outmoded methods of relating to myself and others through such blindness and fear, and reclaim my truth, to have self-love, self-belief and to own the validity of my own thoughts both within the context of my ego self and my higher self. I am not certain, but I do feel that I am sort of slipping in and out of both states at times depending on how much I allow fear to overpower the love I know is true, the love for myself at this point in time. Or maybe I am fighting this horrible internal war between love and fear!!! Ego and heart!
      I understand that I have to fully release this impossible dream of the perfect man, or even woman, stop seeing every relationship with men I respect and love as replacement Fathers, stop giving away my own power indiscriminately and then accept the fact that although I do care deeply, too deeply, about others, I also need to take more care of my own needs and give myself a bit of lovin too!
      Once I have managed to bring this knowing into firm belief and experience, then my relationships are coming from a place of abundance, rather than lack.
      And I am no longer at risk of hurting myself and the others around me who care about me. And vice versa.
      I know it sounds self-centred, but at this moment, now, its all about me, me, me. The only thing I am prepared t sacrifice is my ego. Not my happiness. And certainly not Love.

      Hugs x

    • Claire

      I am having the same issues as Sarah. It really hurts and angers me to see the way some people are raising their children.

      Your article was right on target for me today, John. Thank you! I need to become more aware of when I am judging others and thinking my way is the only right way.

      love & hugs

  3. jerry pottle

    Hello John and Spirit,

    (that guy in the picture does look like you, John = ) Anyway… I both learned and felt a major change in my life last week at work. One of our employees was promoted to manager and interestingly enough, she was not well liked, which included myself. She manages the area I work and we butted heads pretty quickly (she is a red-headed Aries)….. lol.

    So, I decided this was not the way I want my life to be and decided to change my attitude towards her. So, one day I went into her office to consult her on a project and when I was done with work details, I told her I appreciated all the work she did and loved her promptness in getting things done. I think her mouth hit the floor because no one ever told her what a good job she does. Her attitude is now much friendlier to everyone and she opens up to me to vent when things get rough.

    It’s truly amazing how we can change our lives by showing concern for others and we then benefit from it.

    I know it’s not easy!

    Love and hugs,

    • John Cali

      What a great story, Jerry! Thanks very much for sharing it. It certainly demonstrates the power of perspective.

      I took another look at that 1925 photo — and I agree with you. Of course, I wasn’t even born in 1925, at least in this lifetime. 🙂


  4. Scott K

    Isn’t that John in the picture in the front row, far right?


  5. Sarah Drury

    Good post, John & Spirit.
    This has been a very important issue in my life so far and a wake up call, personally. I would always place blame on others, which is really damaging and also a form self-denial. Its really a way of projecting one’s own lack of worth onto another. Like looking in a mirror and seeing only the negative, something that is painful and easy to do, really. Its something I’ve been working on for a while, reclaiming self-responsibility. The key for me, personally, is to put myself in the centre of the perceived conflict and imagine the view through the eyes of the proposed perpetrator. That’s the only way I can get see who I am, sometimes. First I go out, then I become the other person, then I bring what I am learning back to my self and see if I have learnt anything positive, something I am able to work with. I feel, myself anyhow, that sometimes its easy to presume that people are behaving from a consciously self-centred perception of things. Until we can be in another person’s skin, walk in their shoes, we can’t really understand where they are coming from. Its an underlying lesson of many great teachers of humanity. Jesus himself lived his life without prejudice, as did Buddha and many other great teachers. Compassion and lack of judgement are beautiful, we just have to look at such shining people as Mother Theresa, for example.
    Also, I do feel that the only person who is really qualified to ‘judge’ anyone, is the very source of creation itself, the God/Dess energy.
    Maybe the word ‘evaluate’ is a more compassionate and appropriately gentle terminology.

    Hugs to all x
    Ps funny you should bring up this topic, it was my lesson of the now!

  6. Stephanie

    Very profound … If the very Source that created us does not judge us …why do we judge ourselves and each other?
    Judgment seems to be a learned behavior … one that I am working on letting go of …

    We each have our own soul-level contracts and paths … and if I pay attention to only MY path … and choices … I will not have time to judge the paths of others.

    I feel we are all doing the best we can with what we KNOW … and as I learn and grow … I am able to make wiser choices.

    Thanks to YOU and Spirit for the topic…

    • John Cali

      You’re most welcome, Stephanie. Thanks you very much for your comments. I agree — we’re all doing the best we can. That’s how Spirit sees us. We need to see ourselves in the same way.

  7. Toni

    Oh, boy, John. You got me. My sister and I have just returned from a family baby shower. We rode together in the car. Need I say more? Thanks for this great reminder. I will surely work on judging. I mean NOT judging.


  8. Kathleen

    Great post John! This is a big one for all of us. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Pamela

    Today I cut all ties with someone because they always seem to bring Fear and anger into my world. They are abusive and being friends with them drains my energy and upsets my children. No matter if I only pour love into what they see as a problem. The nicer I am to them the meaner they get. So Yeah I judged them and the negitive that they bring into our life.

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