Who Is That Person You See In the Mirror Every Day? by John Cali and Spirit

Every child is born a genius. ~ R. Buckminster Fuller


Part of the genius of children is they know how to love themselves. And they never feel guilty about it.


Loving yourself unconditionally is the single most important thing you can do in this lifetime.

If you cannot celebrate the miracle that is you, you will find little joy or reason in celebrating anything or anyone else. Your ability to love, appreciate, and celebrate yourself is the key to all you seek.

Many of you do not faithfully attend to your own needs and desires. Yet if you don’t take of yourself first, you’re not much good to anyone else.

The best thing you can do for others and the world is to put your own happiness and well-being first.

Does that sound selfish? Well, it is selfish. Or self-ish–focusing on and loving yourself so you may then love others. Even your religions tell you to love God and others as you love yourself.

But that message often gets muddled and lost. The part that gets lost is “as you love yourself.” As if that’s some kind of horrible sin.

We want you to see the wonder and beauty you are. We want you to feel loved. We want you to feel worthy. We want you to see yourself with the great love we feel for you–with the great love God feels for you.

Love yourself unconditionally, as you did when you were a little child. The wisest you have ever been is when you were that little child. You instinctively knew to love yourself.

Look in your mirror every day and see that little child in your own eyes. S/he is still there and still loves you.

Copyright © 2014 by John Cali

Here’s a delightful short video of little kids dancing. Perhaps it will bring back memories for you.

Related posts:

How Do You Learn To Love Yourself?
11 Reasons You Don’t Love Yourself and What You Can Do About It
When You Love Yourself Your Problems Are Solved

Do you feel guilty about loving yourself? Many do. Or do you love that person you see in the mirror every day? Please share your thoughts and comments with us below.

What other subjects would you like us to talk about in these posts? Please email me.

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About John Cali

John Cali is a writer, blogger, and channel for a group of spirit guides. His next book is Conversations with Spirit: Real Answers To Life’s Pesky Questions, Book 1. John lives in northwestern Wyoming, in the USA’s northern Rocky Mountains. Sign up for his free newsletter here. You’ll receive a free copy of The Book of Joy: How To Live Every Day of Your Life Happily Ever After.

Personal Readings with John and Spirit

13 Responses

  1. Sarah

    Hi John 😀

    I just found the link to this post unopened in my inbox and it reminded me of the times recently when my son (it’s his 4th birthday today!) has said to me, ‘I love you! I love Dad! And I love myself!’ And when I tell him throughout the day, ‘I love you, Alex! And I love Dad.’ He always prompts me to say ‘And you love yourself!’ It fills my heart to the brim 🙂

  2. Rene M

    Like many things in life, I started really loving myself after I made the decision to do so. It took some time for me to get there, but it helped me to commit to doing it.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Rene. I’ve found the commitment we make to ourselves always paves the way to get where we want to go.

  3. Rafa

    According to me taking care of yourself has a context.
    If lets say you meditate everyday 7-730pm or relax in a pool or whatever way you take care of yourself. Then if a friend wants to hang out for a drink its ok for you to say no, and you would rather keep your meditation. Or even if a friend wants to talk to you about something that can be done at another time.

    But now if a friend in real trouble and needs to be taken to hospital then its senseless to say i am sorry i got to take care of myself.
    So taking care of yourself comes first but you need to put it in a little context.

    Now if you have a kid and kid needs to be taken care. But its still prudent that you creatively make sure you get some time for yourself to do something that keeps you in joy and something of your own personal interest to be taken care. My suggestion would be to be creative and find that time for yourself and make it happen.
    And not just do everything for the kid and leave yourself empty. Then that would not work in the interest of anyone.
    So be selfish and also selfless!! help others in trouble but help yourself too. You can do both!

    • John Cali

      I agree, Rafa. That’s a good point.

      But Spirit and I were not talking about emergency situations such as you describe. We were talking about a general pattern of behavior.

      As you describe it, you “do not just do everything for the kid and leave yourself empty. Then that would not work in the interest of anyone.”
      So I do agree with you.

      But I also know people who’ve made it a lifelong habit of ALWAYS putting others first. In one situation, someone close to me ended up in a mental hospital for that very reason.

      So, as I see it, you and I agree with each other.

  4. Conshana

    God Bless You, John.
    This is a lesson that religions have twisted beyond all recognition.
    If a mother, for example, doesn’t take care of herself, how will she care for her nursing infant???
    If a man doesn’t take care of himself, how will he support his family???
    “Selfish” has gotten a very bad reputation, but only by those who would use fear as a means of control. I must be selfish, before I have that with which to give to others. And that, by any measure.
    Blessings, and keep up the good work~!
    I AM Conshana

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Conshana!

      I agree with you — this notion of taking care of ourselves first has gotten a bad rap. The classic example I like to use is the airlines’ admonition to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else. That’s just plain ol’ common sense!

      Blessings to you, my dear friend,

  5. Wyonne Baribeau

    Thank you John! I very rarely feel guilty when doing something for myself anymore, but it has taken me a long time to learn! I look forward to these blog posts.

    • John Cali

      You’re most welcome, Wyonnne! It’s taken me a long time to learn too. It’s a valuable life lesson.

  6. Rafa

    thanks for the article..
    after reading and implementing lot of spiritual advise i have been living in great state since couple of years.
    Its hard to remove ego fully but to large extent i have my self-worth in perfect great state, i don’t second guess myself and even if every decision and every action i do is correct i have been able to back to silence and come from that place. Life is really so beautiful when you live from there.
    I also don’t feel selfish at all since i also always do whatever is in my control to keep helping others too. and keep checking myself whether i am not getting too self centered.
    its always work in progress but since i go back to silence and approach life from there i feel so much more aligned to what i should be doing.
    This is complete testimony for all the spiritual masters of the world who have said time and again to go internal and detach external expectations but at the same do your best actions even in external world.
    It was hard to believe in the beginning but sticking to it has paid dividends.
    Again John its people like you who have instilled those invaluable lessons of life in me.

    • Rafa

      Sorry i meant – even though every decision and action may not be right……

    • John Cali

      You’re very welcome, Rafa!

      I agree — life is beautiful when you live from that deep stillness within. I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I did not take the time every day to go within. As you said, it pays dividends.

      Thank you, Rafa, for your kind words. I really appreciate your support.

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