What Did She Die From? by John Cali

The other day I was telling an old friend about the recent death of another friend we’d known since childhood. The first question my friend asked me was “What did she die from?”

Death has fascinated me ever since I was a little boy. Not in any morbid way, but just from a deep curiosity about what awaits us beyond the veil. As I worked more and more with my spirit guides over the years, I became more interested in not only what lies beyond the veil, but also what awaits us just before we leave our physical bodies.

It’s an obvious fact that many people die from “something” — usually a disease or accident. But is that inevitable?

I don’t think so.

My spirit guides have talked about this for many years. I realize their perspective is controversial with some folks. Here are some thoughts they’ve offered over the years.


Every death is a suicide. But not in the way you normally use the word “suicide,” where someone deliberately kills his/her physical body, for whatever reason.

At some level of your awareness, you all choose the time and manner of your death. So you are never a “victim” of disease or accidents. After all, you do create your own reality, in “life” or in “death.”

You are quite capable of consciously, deliberately deciding to die peacefully in your bed, in a state of perfect health. But most people do not believe that. So when they are ready to die, they create a disease or “accident.”

Ideally, you will get to the point in your physical life where you are satisfied, where there’s nothing left you want to do. You’ve done it all and now it’s time to move on to your next adventure.

Every death is a suicide because you die when and how you choose.

So none of you ever die “from” anything. You die because you decide it’s time.

What are your thoughts? Please share with us below.

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions, whether you agree or disagree with us. Please keep your comments polite and relevant to the topic of this blog post. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.

Send Us Your Questions
We invite all of you to send us your questions. We’ll publish Spirit’s answers in occasional blog posts. Please follow these guidelines:

  1. Keep your questions “on topic” — that is, on the subjects we cover in our blog and newsletter.

  2. Your questions should be of interest to all our readers. If you have personal questions, especially lengthy ones, those would be more appropriately covered in private readings.

  3. Email me your questions. While I cannot guarantee we’ll be able to answer all questions, we’ll do as many as we can.

15 Responses

  1. Lisa

    Hi John & Spirits
    I Totally agree with what you and some others are saying about choosing when to go, But what I don’t understand is about children,babies,young teens that have come down with Cancer….Although I have seen some very upbeat because their Dr has given them hope??? But they end up passing anyway?? My Son is 21 and has a Friend that is 21 also, he wasn’t feeling well and went to the Dr,after Blood test and all,he had testicular Cancer?? You normally don’t get tested for that until around 40 years old.now it has spread all over his body and is now getting Chemo & Radiation,having to stay in the hospital. When I 1st learned of this a few weeks back,I was Like “Oh No,he is only 21,just getting started on his own in life”,I asked my son more about him,and he’s known him for several years,he said he is 1 of the nicest guy’s and best friend you could ever have,always happy go lucky,joking,always trying to cheer everyone else up as well!!! I wish there was something I could do!! I did e-mail my Son a e-book about other options to give to Matt’s Mom. I would love to lay my hands on him and heal him along with all the children/adults that have Cancer,since I have lost many Family members to this dreaded disease,so it is close to my heart….But I need to be healed completely to be able to try and heal others.

    Much Love and Hugs to you and Spirit!!

  2. Jane

    Thanks John for the courage to tackle this subject honestly.

    Nowadays as we have the ability to travel we are able to have more experiences and keep our interest in life alive much longer. And so we are living longer. But there does come a time when the interest wanes and we are ready to experience something else. It is good to know we have the choice, even if not at a conscious level. It helps us to surrender to the process peacefully.

    Love your work.


    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Jane, for your comments and kind words. As you said, just knowing we have a choice makes the inevitable process of dying easier to bear.


  3. John Cali

    Thanks very much, Sarah, for sharing your journey with your husband. From a human perspective, I know how difficult that must have been. From the perspective of Spirit, all is as it should be.


  4. Ron

    Speaking of going to sleep, my 23 year old son Rob began to slip into a coma as he was walking out of a Pink Floyd concert. He was healthy, he was happy, and no he had not partaken of any drugs. That very night he had planned to call me to announce his wedding engagement..

    The authorities gave up on finding a cause of death after a two year study. From their point of view all was well. It seems to me that there are things we just are not meant to understand.

    • John Cali

      Thank you, Ron, for sharing this story. I agree there are circumstances we don’t understand. It can be a challenge when they involve our loved ones and their soul purpose.

    • Ron

      Thank you Sarah for your input. Actually there was little suffering due to teachings I was at that time partaking in. I received the call from the hospital where they were in the process of pulling the plug thousands of miles away at 3 A.M. That very morning I went out for breakfast and when I returned I found the strongest of our litter of kittens laying dead across our doorway. I felt some kind of connection and I remember that my burying the kitten in our garden that morning had some kind of relief bringing symbolic message for me since I would not be traveling to his funeral.
      Still I often think of his transition from the point of view of the Law of Attraction and try to make sense of it. As I said before I think that there are things which simply have to remain a mystery until some later date. It may even have to do with the ending of the family tree since he was the only son on the paternal side.
      All is well.

  5. Donna

    Hi John,
    Maybe we should change our question of how someone passed to something like “Oh, what was their transition method?”or “What was their exit plan?”. I’ll try that next time I hear of someone passing and see how people respond.

  6. Sherri

    Thanks for this one, John. Love this subject – I was so happy when I read this several years ago in your column and makes so much sense. Ever since then, whenever the subject comes up in conversation, I always say when its time for me to go, I will just lay down and go to sleep. No illness, no accident, no pain. If I made another choice before coming into this life, then I changed it.

    My mother will soon be passing from cancer and it runs on both sides of my family. I believe in the power of your mind and your thoughts. My thought is I’m not getting cancer (or anything else) just because it runs in the family. I’ll die the way I want to, and it will be peaceful and easy. Thank you again so much for posting this now, and back then. It would be great if everyone believed this, wouldn’t it?

    Much love to you, John. Thanks for all you do.


    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Sherri. What a beautiful vision you have of when the time comes for you to go. I share that vision with you.

      That whole issue of “it runs in the family” is a huge challenge for so many. We’ve written about it before. But if folks believe it, it becomes their experience. I’ve seen that in my own family. I’ll keep you, your mother, and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

      Much love to you too, Sherri — and big hugs,

  7. Shirl

    Spot on. This is exactly what I have come to know during my lifetime. We choose. It really couldn’t be any other way as far as I know and understand these things.

    I’m one of those odd ones that never has been afraid of death and the couple of times I apparently had the opportunity to make a decisive choice, I have chosen to stay for a while longer.

    It has seemed rather odd to me especially for those who express a deep conviction that there is a continuing or further life after death that so many of them seem extremely fearful of death.

    I have just always viewed it as a time and opportunity to be on to the next adventure.

    I will admit freely to my own selfishness in being a bit out of sorts with some of those I am very close to that have chosen to move on before me. So I good naturedly shake my finger in the air and lightly chastise them for leaving me behind. However I know that their choice was made for their own highest and best reasons. Still. . .I do miss them. I am blessed to feel their energy drop in to say hello from time to time, but I miss them none the less.

    Blessings and hugs

    • John Cali

      Thanks very much, Shirl, for your comments. I know what you mean about those loved ones who’ve left us behind. However, as you say, it’s comforting to know they made the best choices for themselves. And, as I believe, we can still talk to them.

      Big hugs,

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.