Botox Revisited by John Cali

A while back we wrote an article, Botox and Beauty. In that article we talked about a mother who was regularly giving her eight-year-old daughter Botox injections.

Just today I came across the story of a father giving his 18-year-old daughter breast implants. The father happens to be a plastic surgeon. He’s also done plastic surgery on two older daughters, in their early 20s, and other family members.

Quite apart from the ethics of a doctor operating on his own family, I was surprised (though I should not have been) at what the 18-year-old said. She’d always had smaller breasts than her friends, and therefore, she needed the implants to increase her self-esteem.

In our earlier article we mentioned a Gallup poll that reported 70 percent of Americans suffer from low self-esteem. No wonder plastic surgery has become so popular today in our country.

We’ve been so brainwashed into believing we should find our value and validation in our physical bodies. If they don’t meet society’s incredibly ridiculous and rigid standards, then we need to do something about it.

I see nothing wrong with maintaining a healthy, good-looking body. But to base our self-esteem, our self-love on our body is so wrong-headed, it boggles my mind.

There’s been a steady, years-long stream of folks suffering from a lack of self-love and self-esteem coming to us for private sessions with Spirit. There have also been some of my family and friends who’ve talked with me about their lack of self-love and self-esteem. So I’ve probably seen and heard just about all there is. It’s not a pretty picture.

Spirit has said our most important relationship is between us and our higher selves. That relationship will ensure all our other relationships are healthy and whole. Then we won’t expect another person — or plastic surgery — to increase our happiness and self-esteem. We are already beautiful and lovable, just as we are. No one, nothing can make us happy because happiness is always within us. It has nothing to do with how beautiful our bodies are, especially by the Hollywood-style standards of beauty.


What are your thoughts about our society’s preoccupation with physical beauty? How do you define beauty? Please comment below.

We welcome your comments and thoughtful opinions. Please keep them kind and compassionate. If needed, we’ll edit for clarity. Also, we’ll delete anything we consider inappropriate.

6 Responses

  1. Melody | Deliberate Receiving

    Hey John,

    This is such an interesting topic. Personally, I have no problem with plastic surgery, per se. I think that when you have a limiting belief, you can either release that belief or change your circumstances to make you feel better. Either way, if you truly feel better, it’s all good. So if someone has a deformed nose and feels ugly, they can work on their beliefs about themselves, or they can have that nose fixed. I don’t see a problem with either. Sometimes, surgery is the way that will allow someone to feel better.

    However, (BIG HOWEVER), most people don’t use plastic surgery that way. If you are self aware and you take action that you’ve determined will help to shift your energy, that’s one thing. If you take action because you think it will make you feel better, in an attempt to not have to look at what the real problem is, then it’s not going to work. That’s how people get addicted to plastic surgery – they get a temporary high afterwards and then they keep chasing that. It’s the same as getting drunk or gambling or shooting heroin in an attempt to feel better. It doesn’t work long term because the underlying problem is never addressed.

    Parents who are giving their kids plastic surgery are simply projecting their own insecurities onto their children and then trying to “fix” them.

    I totally agree with the other comments here – the real fix is to learn to feel better about ourselves on the inside. But there are many roads to Rome. 🙂

    Huge hugs!

    • John Cali

      Hi Melody,

      Thank you so much for your very wise observations. I completely agree with you. Neither do I see anything “wrong” with plastic surgery, especially in the circumstances you describe. There are plenty of folks around with bodies that, even without plastic surgery, would meet Hollywood’s standards. Yet they’re still unhappy.

      Happiness never comes from anything outside of our connection with our spirits. Everything else, as you said, is a futile attempt to “fix” things, instead of looking for the real source of the unhappiness.

      Indeed there are many roads to Rome. 🙂

      Thank you very much, my dear.

      Big Hugs!

  2. Micki

    Hi John, I was very blessed with my family, we have always loved and supported each other, through good times and not so good times and my Sister and I have alway been told by our parents that beauty come from within and we passed that onto our kids and they are now passing it on to theirs. We all have a very healthy relationship with each other, we don’t pull any punches becasue we truely love each other. I see people today that are so insecure with their looks at all different ages and its quite sad, because what I see is not what they see and if they could truly look at themselves, they would know that they look exactly the way they should look. Does that make sense…sounds very complicated it’s not .
    Have a wonderful weekend John. Huge hugs to you …Micki

    • John Cali

      Hi Micki,

      Thank you very much for your comments and for sharing. Everything you said makes perfect sense. Now if you could show the world how to do that… 🙂

      Lots of hugs,

  3. Mary Carol

    Hi John,

    As I get older, I’ve noticed that many people who’ve thought of themselves as especially attractive all their lives have a much harder time with aging. The goal to stay as they were becomes a draining waste of energy.

    I’ve always thought of myself as ordinary, and getting older has been fun! I like the gray hair, I love the crepe-y skin on the backs of my hands. Wrinkles/shminkles – it’s all good. In my clearly older body, I feel beautiful for the first time in my life, and people notice. Loving yourself as you are is a big part of happiness, and a happy-glow is better than any makeup.

    I’m curious to hear your collective observations on aging and beauty. Thank you for your always wise words,

    Mary Carol

    • John Cali

      Hi Mary Carol,

      I agree with you — aging gracefully is difficult for so many. I have the same perspective you do — it’s all good. As you said, loving yourself is a big part of happiness — it also makes you look much younger, regardless of your age or the condition of your body.


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